Posted on 11/09/2001 6:10:58 PM PST by Lower55
Well after reading my first post again, you see 2 out of the 4 are actually what one would consider 'dirty'. I didn't do too bad.
Finally, another thirsty person says to her, 'will you hurry up!'. And the blonde says, 'Why? Can't you see I'm WINNING!'.
Admit it...
Only for a FReeper blonde, the rest can bite my *(@... :o)
A clap of thunder interrupts them, and the other blonde says, 'You'd better hurry up. It looks like it's going to rain- we need to put the top up.'
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and asked what are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
Her roommate rolled her eyes and said, .... "HELLO...You need to roll up the windows first!"
51 Days
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts.
Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster.
When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"
The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"
Ice Fishing
This blonde really wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly---from the sky---a voice boomed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The Blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, even She stopped, looked skyward, and said, " Is that you, Lord?"
The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE ICE RINK MANAGER!"
Nothing, she's already been told twice.
Two blondes pilots were on final approach when the 1st officer said they were right on track for landing. All of a sudden they were in trouble, alarms and lights were going off but the Captain was able to land without further incident.
Sitting on the runway the 1st officer said, "Wow, this is the shortest runway ever." The Captain replied, "Yea and its so wide."
Why does a blonde woman like tilt steering wheels?
If no correct guesses, answer to follow soon . .
ßß
When the blondes didn't show up at the tables after a few minutes one of the gals went back to the bus. She climbed to the upper level only to find the blondes fastened to their seats with white-knuckle grips and terrified looks on their faces. "What's the matter?", she exclaimed.
The nearest blonde, with a barely contained scream, explained, "Can't you see? WE HAVE NO DRIVER!!!"
She looks into the mirror a second time. Confused she says to the second blonde, "I'm not sure, but I think this person in the compact looks very familiar".
Curious, the second blonde asked to see the compact. She looks into the compact and hands it back to the first blonde and says,
"Of course she looks familiar, it's *me* you dummy!"
I admit it!! I admit it!!
Where's the blonde?
This from my wife
Q. What's red and brown and lies dead in a ditch?
A. The last brunette that told a blonde joke.
I don't know...I haven't seen her since she asked me to stand on my head and juggle...that was about two hours ago!
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