Posted on 08/19/2026 11:03:54 AM PDT by V_TWIN
TALLAHASSEE, FL — After an election night in which the Sunshine State successfully tallied all its votes within hours of the polls closing, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis explained to California Governor Gavin Newsom that the secret to counting ballots in one night is not committing fraud.
Sources revealed that Newsom called DeSantis late Tuesday night to express amazement at Florida's vote-counting efficiency, with DeSantis helpfully responding to his fellow governor that tallying ballots is much faster and simpler without the widespread implementation of election fraud schemes.
"You'd be shocked at how easy it actually is without all the fraud," DeSantis reportedly said. "As crazy as it sounds, it really does just come down to counting. Literally. As in ‘1, 2, 3, 4,' and so on. I understand that may not be your strong suit, but I'm sure you have people who can get it done."
Insiders from Newsom's office confirmed that the governor suspected DeSantis must have been engaging in some type of witchcraft to count so many votes in so little time. "What type of dark sorcery is this?" he reportedly asked his staff. "Everyone knows that counting ballots takes five or six weeks, minimum. DeSantis must have some ancient leather-bound tome somewhere that provided him with a secret incantation that counts votes. Fraud or no fraud, there's no way to tally ballots so fast. I don't like it."
At publishing time, DeSantis had also informed Newsom that determining state election results was much easier if you don't allow millions of illegal aliens to vote.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Sigh.....I will miss my Supergovernor 😔
DeSantis Explains To Newsom Secret To Counting Ballots.
Just count the legal ones.
He will be missed.
Counting 3.3 million ballots in over six months is.
Fer sure. And this batch of candidates in the primary made me feel even worse. Now the onslaught of anti-Trump ads that come with his endorsement. Can hardly wait🙄
Sigh.....I will miss my Supergovernor 😔
********************
That’s understandable.
DeSantis needs to run in 2028, we need all of our best Thoroughbreds ready to run in the Republican Primary.
DeSantis for president 2028!
DeSantis for president 2028!
Yes, I am coming around to supporting DeSantis if he runs.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.