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Posted on 07/16/2026 8:00:52 PM PDT by dynachrome
The Flagler County Sheriff's Office has accused a Florida man of coming up with a plan to beat his court-ordered drug test. Executing what on paper might look like a good plan proved to be difficult.
His first mistake was climbing behind the wheel on July 14 and driving to submit his urine sample. A deputy stopped James Shepard, 52, as he pulled in, because according to the sheriff's office, his license is suspended.
That's a violation of the felony probation he was serving for multiple burglaries and thefts, News 6 reports. He was arrested on charges of violating probation and taken to jail in the back seat of a patrol car.
Driving on a suspended license was crime number one," according to the sheriff's office. "Crime number two was strapped to his groin."
What Shepard had strapped to his groin was what the sheriff’s office referred to as a "jerry-rigged Whizzinator." It was constructed of a fake bladder that had fake urine in it.
There was a heating pad wired to it and a fake penis attached. For comedy's sake, I hope he went large with the fake attachment. That detail isn't mentioned, but thanks to the camera in the patrol car, there's video evidence of him ditching the device.
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
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Tommy Chong marketed a similar product named “Urine Luck”.
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Tommy Chong marketed a similar product named “Urine Luck”.
“Bailiff....Whack his P__ P__!”
What color was the whizzonater and what color is he. This could be culture appropriation. We can’t have some cracker using a big black whizzonater, I doubt a black man would stoop low enough for a white whizzonater. Florida man top 100 this week. 🤣
It’s an electrifying experience. Cleans the wax outa your ears and clears your sinuses.
🤣🤣👍
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I was in charge of urine drug tests at my company. I had a former Navy corpsman who had no qualms about observing people. He caught a guy who had urine in a bottle stuffed in his pants. These tests were so random there is no way the guy could have known, which indicated to me that every day when he got dressed for work it was like wallet, keys, bottle of urine stuffed in my pants.
Which raises the question... since the case was “multiple burglaries and thefts,” why parole conditions included pulling his license and making him take a wizz quiz (”They do that for everybody” is not an answer).
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