'60 Minutes' Begins Search For New Pompous Blowhard

NEW YORK, NY — After the firing of longtime contributor Scott Pelley due to ongoing conflicts with producers, the long-running CBS News program 60 Minutes began its search for a new pompous blowhard.

Pelley's abrupt departure reportedly left the show shorthanded, leading producers and CBS executives to launch an immediate search to fill the void of an arrogant, disingenuous windbag the show needed to maintain its brand.

"The show wouldn't be the same without at least one arrogant windbag," said Executive Producer Nick Bilton. "Now that we've parted ways with Scott, it's important for us to fill his role as quickly as possible. That's why we're already on the lookout for our next smug jerk. Thankfully, the news media is full of them, so we don't think it will take long to find what we're looking for."

Though the loss of Pelley left behind a large hole in the area of pretentious goofs, network executives remained confident that the program would be able to uphold its responsibility to provide stuffy, biased journalism. "Scott Pelley or no Scott Pelley, it'll always be 60 Minutes," Bilton said. "CBS has spent nearly a century cultivating a hard-earned reputation of featuring pompous blowhards. We're entering a new chapter, but viewers can be certain that we'll find someone who will make them roll their eyes on a weekly basis, just like always."

At publishing time, CBS News announced that the role of pompous blowhard on 60 Minutes would be filled by Stephen Colbert.

60 Minutes was a unique and riveting platform for many years.

I will never forgive the late Mike Wallace for taunting the late SS Agent Clint Hill in an interview from the 80’s I think.

Hill was the only SS Agent to respond to the JFK assassination by protecting Mrs. Kennedy but it was too late.

Wallace toyed with Hill during the interview with a faux sympathetic set of questions which was not fair to Hill, who was trying to wean himself from an Alcohol addiction. He was a broken man by the time Wallace got to him. Wallace pretended to empathize will Hill who was very uncomfortable during the interview.

That was along time ago and the classic CBS staff that ran 60 Minutes, over time lost their honest, journalistic mission as they became a prized commodity.

This program became political and stale with veterans like Stahl who felt they were untouchable. These veterans think they can go on forever no matter what the content.

Finally, there are shakeups at CBS and it is time to revamp the system and get rid of the old, stale bread that has been sitting on the CBS kitchen table for 50 years!

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.