Unfortunately it always falls on one of the children to take care of the parents when they get old. The other siblings are rarely (if ever around) when they are alive.
However they do show up for the money.
Ask me how I know.
I’m facing this now. My husband left us for a 23 year old in 1981. We had 4 children 7,6,4 and 3 years old. By the term left, I mean we never saw him or another penny from him. I raised the children all by myself. We never divorced and this past winter he passed away. I only found out he was sick 2 weeks before he died. I asked him to make out a will, but he refused. Because I live in a community property state, my lawyer said half of my assets transfer to him. He had children during our separation who will inherit a percentage of my assets if I sell my house to go into assisted living. I’m 80 years old and was counting on that money for my care.
I was the “designated child” for my mom after she broke her hip at age 99. She was still living alone (my dad passed 20 years earlier) and still driving, much to our discomfort, then fell and broke her hip on a trip to the market. I moved in with mom and saved myself and my three siblings hundreds of thousands that she would have paid for care, especially as she lived until just short of her 104th birthday. Wasn’t always fun, but none of us wanted her in a home.