Posted on 03/13/2026 1:01:23 PM PDT by simpson96
Dear Annie: My son is getting married in July, and I’m dreading it. The woman he plans to marry is, in my view, a lying, conniving, lazy master manipulator who has worn him down so much he barely seems to care about life anymore. He doesn’t see it, but my husband and I do. He thinks she hung the moon.
She’s a complete narcissist. She’s on her phone every waking minute, and doesn’t cook, clean or care for their daughter. My son works all day, then takes care of their home and my granddaughter while she makes excuses. She believes putting on “Ms. Rachel” and sitting in the same room scrolling TikTok counts as parenting. There is little to no interaction.
She hasn’t done anything to improve their situation; if anything, life seems harder because of how she conducts herself. She’s been “working on” getting her driver’s license for four years. When things go wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault, and she casts herself as the hero in every story. Every conversation somehow circles back to her.
I truly believe he’s making the biggest mistake of his life by marrying her. She won’t change because he, and everyone else, caters to her. What can we do? -- Dreading the Wedding
Dear Dreading the Wedding: It’s painful to watch someone you love make choices you wouldn’t make yourself. Even so, this is your son’s life, and if he’s set on marrying this woman, pressure won’t change that.
Share your concerns once, calmly and respectfully. Focus on what you’ve observed and how it affects him and your granddaughter, not on attacking her character. Then step back. If you’re right and things unravel, you want him to feel safe coming to you, not defensive or embarrassed.
Sometimes the best way to help is to keep the door open and your judgment quiet. You may not be able to stop this wedding, but you can make sure your son and granddaughter always have you in their corner.
How true.
awful or AWFUL?
No mention of where the bride is on the hot-crazy matrix.
But then again they were taught that by their mothers and teachers.
Correct. But weak men are to blame as well.
You don't see this happening in Islamic countries.
Stupid clickbait article.
They have a daughter, so the son is already legally bound. The marriage certificate won't change anything.
The "biggest mistake" was getting this woman pregnant. But now that ship has sailed.
Because these guys were told, they just couldn't hear because their heads were up her hoo haa too far to listen.
Men, dont marry her just because she jumped in bed with you.. I married a rich woman, who jumped in bed with me!!
ALREADY HAPPENED.
He can't run. The article says they already have a daughter.
The whole question of them finally marrying is pointless.
Our legal system (in divorce, child custody, domestic abuse allegations) punishes strong men.
“Dear Annie: Our son doesn’t see it, but he is about to marry an awful woman”
so what else it new? ... i’ve been known to marry one or two awful women myself ...
More young women need to read Genesis 2:18 on why they were created. They can do what they want to with their life and they will get a chance to explain themselves.
Correct about systemic issues. Like I said, it is possible to correct all of this. We could all convert to Islam. I mean, at this rate, that is what it is going to happen.
His life isover. She will be a part of his life for life.
I would suggest a DNA test to determine if the child is really his to begin with.
If you're referring to the Day of Judgement, no one will get a chance to "explain themselves." No excuses or mitigating factors will be heard.
He knows all things and sees into every heart. There's no point in Him listening to "explanations."
My Son made the same mistake - finally after 12 miserable years he finally woke up and left his then wife. After he filed for divorce the Ex acted innocent and couldn’t understand why he left.
He took 12 Years, but he is now out of a very bad situation.
What does "I'm not going to stand by" mean? She won't speak to him? Or to her? Not invite them over or visit them? Or that she'll never stop nagging him about how horrible his wife is?
If this raging battle-ax's goal is to not have her son talk to her, or let her see her grandchild, then that's a good idea. Otherwise, not so much.
The father needs to be the one giving the advice—whatever it might be—not the mother.
Man to man can be a much tougher and honest discussion.
Getting married will make it worse for him. It is already bad enough.
We’re continuing to support them financially, and I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m no saint, my reward is seeing her improvement. I’m nearly 72, and have no expectations of ever retiring. My wife is a typical Hispanic woman, can’t say no to her two sons (my daughter is squared away), or to her family. After 40 years of marriage, it’s too late to walk away.
No tears for me, it’s just the way life is. Seeing my 3 grandkids is my reward. They all live within 30 minutes of me, it’s a great situation.
As to the OP, I am in no position to offer advice. Her son is an adult, it’s up to him to make the best decision. Having a child is a complicating factor, so do what’s in the child’s best interests. My parents divorced when I was 6, and I vowed my children would never have to experience that.
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