Posted on 09/21/2025 10:49:41 AM PDT by Navy Patriot
Jimmy Kimmel may have been relieved of his duties at Jimmy Kimmel Live!, but that doesn't mean he's ready to retire. He's only 57, has bills to pay, and has plenty of good years left.
To help him out, The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of perfect jobs for him:
1. Professional cryer at funerals: No one sheds tears quite like Jimmy.
2. "Before" photo model: Few other people can so perfectly capture that vibe.
3. Purple Teletubby: Nobody will be able to see him cry behind the Tinky Winky mask.
4. Keith Olbermann's shift manager at Starbucks: What a team.
5. Furniture store "Going Out Of Business" sign holder: You twirl that sign like your life depends on it, Jimmy.
6. Joke Tester at the Bad Joke Factory downtown: They're always on the lookout for people to test out all the really bad jokes.
7. Host for BET: As they say, once you go black, you don't go back.
The Babylon Bee would like to wish him luck on all his future endeavors.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
#4: LOL!
This has to sting:
X: Family Feud Reruns More than Doubling the Kimmel Ratings for ABC
Let him pick crops and for the first time in his life do something economically productive.
Yes all the way back to the cesspool inspection.
Maybe Disney will hire him as Snow White?
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BYAu6rWCMAA1cFN.jpg
9. Urinal splash guard.
#9 spokesman for Earl Scweib auto painting “I can paint any car for $39.95.”
#10 Doing ads for Grecian Formula for Men
#11 Street barker for San Francisco strip clubs
#12 Perpetual guest on Hollywood Squares
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