Posted on 09/03/2025 3:19:28 PM PDT by Navy Patriot
U.S. — Recruitment for the United States Navy has soared overnight after going back to its roots of blowing up pirates.
Once a fearsome force against armed hostile vessels attempting to reach American shores, the Navy had spent the last few decades focusing on monkeypox. That all changed overnight, when the Navy annihilated a vessel of armed men attempting to land in America while sailing under no country's flag.
"Oh man, sign me up," said local teenager Braden Daniels after hearing the Navy was back to bombing pirates. "That looks friggin' sweet. I had no idea killing pirates was an option on career day."
The Navy was inundated with new recruits after the news broke, with tens of thousands signing up in the past twenty-four hours. "Shifting the Navy's focus from dandy uniforms to pirate-bombing has been a real success," said Admiral Daryl Caudle. "Our recruitment centers have been overwhelmed with young men asking if we're really back to shooting big cannons at pirates. They're even cool with the dandy uniforms as long as they get to blow up pirates. So, win-win."
At publishing time, the Navy had confirmed that new sailors could consume any rum seized on the high seas, but had to leave the fentanyl alone.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
A return to the Real US Navy!
We can Hang From The Yardarm any Pirates that survive the explosive ordinance!
The US Navy was FOUNDED to kill pirates!
Keel Hauling is back! And puffy shirts!
Arrrrrrrrrr, me hearty
Just in time for September 19th
The official Talk Like A Pirate Day
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Aw, man. The Zumwalt class doesn’t have a single hangable yardarm. No gunports port and starboard. No planks to walk. No floggings. And just try to keelhaul somebody and the deck department starts whining about hull damage. What kind of Navy is this, anyway?
Ordnance... just saying Navy Brother.
True, with the additional purpose of transporting The United States Marines to discharge The Marines' duty To Kill Pirates.
No Excuse, Sir!
Thanks for reminding me!
Thank you for the reminder...and then there’s this:
Aye.. Carry on!
I’m not a Navy man, but a dozen or so updated Fletcher class destroyers sounds like just the ticket.
To the Shores of Tripoli!
Yep, Navy Can Do!
I just finished a WW2 Navy novel.
Where’s the Village People?
Back 6o the Barbary Coast to cleanse it of Islam?
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