Noo, many tribes o Sassenach tak great pride in their facial hair. Why, I’ve seen growths on an upper lip that would do a walrus proud. Walrus, laddie, ye remember, at the Calder Park Zoo?
Aye wi the breath like Uncle Alistair after a bad nicht.
These grand mustaches they wax and shape in tae curlicues, horns, or een daggers. Their beards they oil, braid, tie wi ribbands... och, sae fancy! And many of their men do the same things.
It was great before, but this made it stellar!
So ya’re Scottish nu?
Or the walruses are?