I’m 63, single, child-free – and my friends weren’t there for me when I needed them

www.msn.com ^ | August 6, 2025 | Kate Mulvey

[dakine]

I’m in Northern Michigan spending the next week (starting tomorrow) golfing, fishing, poker playing, etc with seven guys I grew up and graduated H.S. with 45 years ago As I tell my wife - no b.s. passes through us - we know each other to well!

A yearly event to compare golf handicaps and grey hairs...

[Sicon]

I don’t see myself as an old biddy,

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, toots.

[sauropod]

But the bicycles don’t need the fish.

[sauropod]

Tead later

[Bernard]

She could always rent a companion from Visiting Angels or a similar agency. I guess the medical facility would not allow her to bring her cats?

[rxh4n1]

“The answer is that “You left them in your twenties when you had options.””

Another answer is “You didn’t see them. They were invisible to you.”

[Vermont Lt]

She is a dumbass.

[Thank You Rush]

Yes, we fans are getting nervous and think about the players. There’s no chance for the Braves to make it this year but I’m going to stick by them. It’s been interesting is all I can say.

[Albion Wilde]

Friends? At 63? That’s not their role You don’t want to get married have kids better plan better

With the mobility of today's society, many people who have kids and raised them responsibly find themselves alone after the kids marry someone from a different state whom they met in college, or have a job transfer across the country, or travel for work, etc. So there are a lot of needs such older people have, especially widowed or divorced seniors, for friends who can be counted upon in challenging situations.

Such friendships are often hard to find and require work to maintain. Reliability in friendships for help when you need it also requires you to give help when it's needed, and some people forget that part. Their friendship account becomes “overdrawn”, and a sudden spat can end things unless there is also a strong development of communications and values. The woman in this self-pitying essay says she goes weeks without talking to anyone, and almost boasts about not being a team player or joiner. As a wise man once said, “You can have whatever you want in life, if you are willing to pay the price.”

Fortunate folks find and participate willingly a healthy church community, hopefully large enough to have a “care team” and an ethos of letting the office know if you need a ride to a medical appointment or are in recovery from surgery and could use some frozen meals, etc.

The church I've been part of in recent years has subcommittees for shut-in care, new mother care, respite care for caregivers of disabled relatives, emergency meal delivery and various other needs, in a congregation of roughly 200.

Do a few people shoulder most of the caring? Surprisingly, the elders do a great job of recruiting new members onto all kinds of ministries right from the start, including weeding an assigned “zone” on the property, trimming hedges, laundering table or altar cloths, kitchen help, etc., in ADDITION to numerous evangelical activities. From teenage onward, almost everyone has some role to play. I hope heaven is this well organized.

[stanne]

It is a give and take situation as is everything