Don’t Worry About Being the Perfect Father. Do This Instead…

Every child longs for their father’s love — not just in the form of provision or protection, but through what he gives of himself: words that affirm, hands that embrace, and a steady presence that says, “You matter more than words can express.”

A father’s blessing is one of the most powerful gifts a child can receive—and one of the most important a father can give. This kind of blessing is deeply biblical.

There are many aspects of life in which I fall short, but I could not have asked for my sons to have turned out any better than they have. They were always well behaved from the moment of their birth (well, except for the "night that will live in infamy", but we won't go there).

The most important thing I did right when they were young was to always treat them like "first class members of the household" - asking them opinions on things that affected the family. And, more generally, staying socially and intellectually engaged with them. I also kept them involved in karate, starting in daycare. Within two months of starting karate in their daycare they were going to the dojo 3-4 times per week (and for the next 17 years!).

My youngest was maybe eight years old when I walked past him one day during summer break and he mentioned that he was bored. This was in the days when his contemporaries were reading the one or two "Harry Potter" books that had been released.

I grabbed a rather thick fantasy paperback book from our bookshelf that I had saved from my college days, tossed it at him, and said .. "Here kid, read this!". When I walked past his room a couple of months later I noticed the the entire book series, and related books (there must have been 40 of them!), lined up beside his bed. He had bought, and read, the entire collection from eBay. It was that book series ("The Dragonlance Chronicles") that I credit for having ignited his mind. He ended up being the smartest person in the house, becoming a National Merit Scholar, and is now a medical doctor.

When my sons got out of college and got out in the world I told them that I would be happy to take "every crap sandwich" off their table for the first two years, and to split the cost of every crap sandwich for the two years following that. These days I've tapered off to a policy of covering hotel costs if they ever find themselves driving while sleepy. That offer will extend as long as I'm alive.

One day while he was early in his career and struggling, and I happened to be "in high cotton" I told my oldest son that I would give him $1000 with a single string attached - that he had to use it to become an investor. I asked him last year how much he now had under investment, and was stunned to hear it was at $100,000. (I should not have been that surprised, when I talk to him these days it's like talking to Warren Buffet.)

I've often thought that Father's Day should actually be Kid's Day - a celebration of their wonderful accomplishments. These days I've retreated to a huge old house in the country that I maintain as a "Noah's Ark" for their households, should that ever be needed. And, I've become a bit of a "dad" to some of the fine young men from poor households around here. I guess some habits die hard.

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.