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Marine Tanks Stuck In Traffic On The 405
The Babylon Bee ^ | Jun 10, 2025 | BB staff

Posted on 06/11/2025 10:21:27 AM PDT by null and void

LOS ANGELES, CA — Embattled law enforcement officers trying to keep violent protesters at bay now have to wait even longer for help, as news broke that U.S. Marine tanks had gotten stuck in traffic on the 405 freeway.

National Guard servicemen and Los Angeles Police Department riot officers had been waiting for the arrival of 700 Marines deployed at the order of President Donald Trump to deal with crowds of anti-ICE rioters, but the Marines were immediately held up in L.A. gridlock.

"This is ridiculous. C'mon, people, move it!" shouted one Lance Corporal while poking his head out the top hatch of a tank on the 405. "We've been sitting here for over 3 hours. We haven't even moved! How do people ever get anywhere around here? We've got places to be and people to kill. We don't have time to just sit here parked on a freeway. Unbelievable."

The Marines reported that no matter which lane they switched to, it would immediately stop while the other lanes would begin moving. "It's so frustrating," another soldier said. "And why is the freeway under construction? Why is everything always under construction? Every freeway. Every street. What's the point of having this many lanes if half of them are always closed? Argh!"

So far, the tanks have managed to adhere to orders not to simply drive over civilian vehicles and pancake them in the process.

At publishing time, the Marines had reportedly made up valuable time by using the carpool lane.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Local News
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; tanksforthememories; thebee

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Been there, done that...
1 posted on 06/11/2025 10:21:27 AM PDT by null and void
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To: null and void

Should have consulted the SNL Californians on the best route.


2 posted on 06/11/2025 10:22:03 AM PDT by 1Old Pro
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To: null and void

ALMOST got me 😏


3 posted on 06/11/2025 10:24:30 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: null and void

“So far, the tanks have managed to adhere to orders not to simply drive over civilian vehicles and pancake them in the process.

At publishing time, the Marines had reportedly made up valuable time by using the carpool lane.”

The Bee is getting to be too good!


4 posted on 06/11/2025 10:26:04 AM PDT by PsyCon
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To: null and void

Almost fell for the Bee. LOL


5 posted on 06/11/2025 10:32:24 AM PDT by Zathras
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To: null and void
At publishing time, the Marines had reportedly made up valuable time by using the carpool lane.

But did they signal the lane change?

6 posted on 06/11/2025 10:33:34 AM PDT by Carry_Okie (The tree of liberty needs a rope.)
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To: 1Old Pro

“”Should have consulted the SNL Californians on the best route.””

Better yet, should have used a helo. LA traffic is probably the worst in the nation... thus matching everything ‘else’ the leftists have screwed up there.


7 posted on 06/11/2025 10:33:38 AM PDT by Danie_2023
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To: null and void

We hear Newsom and Bass are pulling the tanks over and giving them tickets if they don’t have at least 3 on board to qualify to drive in the carpool lane?


8 posted on 06/11/2025 10:36:03 AM PDT by faithhopecharity ("Politicians aren't born, they're excreted." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: null and void
You’d think that there would be at least two inside…they should be in free flowing diamond lane.
9 posted on 06/11/2025 10:38:06 AM PDT by hole_n_one
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To: Danie_2023

YMMV, but in my experience Boston and the DC beltway are worse.


10 posted on 06/11/2025 10:38:32 AM PDT by kosciusko51
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To: null and void

What kind of tread is used to avoid tearing up the road?


11 posted on 06/11/2025 10:56:18 AM PDT by xp38
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To: 1Old Pro
Should have consulted the SNL Californians on the best route.

That’s what I thought of. 😂

12 posted on 06/11/2025 10:58:44 AM PDT by Allegra (ICE, ICE, Baby!)
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To: kosciusko51

Granted this was decades ago and maybe things have changed but my experience with the beltway was more akin to the roller derby than gridlock.


13 posted on 06/11/2025 10:59:44 AM PDT by xp38
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To: V_TWIN; null and void
ALMOST got me

You've got me beat. I was enthusiastically saying "COME ON! RUN 'EM OVER!" I now officially declare myself to be a nimrod. Doubly embarrassing because I usually can read quite well. Heh. 😅

14 posted on 06/11/2025 11:03:01 AM PDT by AFB-XYZ (( We have two options: 1. Stand up, or 2. Bend over))
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To: null and void

That picture is just too funny!

Anyone remember an old movie called Tank with James Garner driving his personal tank around a small town?


15 posted on 06/11/2025 11:06:35 AM PDT by Zack Attack (✔)
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To: kosciusko51

“”YMMV, but in my experience Boston and the DC beltway are worse.””

Both leftist run and ruined cities, which figures.


16 posted on 06/11/2025 11:09:10 AM PDT by Danie_2023
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To: Carry_Okie

There’s no taillights on it so they have to rotate the turret to point where they want to go.

/yield or die maggots!!!

😆


17 posted on 06/11/2025 11:13:39 AM PDT by Salamander (WPlease visit my profile page to help me go home again. https://www.givesendgo.com/GCRRD)
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To: null and void

Ramming Speed!!!


18 posted on 06/11/2025 11:18:18 AM PDT by mfish13 (Elections have Consequences.)
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To: mfish13

Well, I would hope they’d look for cars with...ah...certain bumper stickers when they’re picking who to run over.


19 posted on 06/11/2025 11:20:34 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Zack Attack
San Diego Tank Rampage - 1995
20 posted on 06/11/2025 11:23:10 AM PDT by hole_n_one
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