Republicans Announce Plan To Keep Doing Opposite Of What Everyone Voted For Them To Do

babylonbee.com ^ | Jun 4, 2025

[V_TWIN]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional Republicans have unveiled plans to continue doing the exact opposite of what everyone voted for them to do.

After sweeping to victory in 2024 on the promise of reducing government spending and codifying into law a return to sanity on issues like women's sports, Republicans have announced that they will instead do the complete and total opposite.

"After considering why Americans voted for us in the first place, we have decided to do the absolute polar opposite," announced House Speaker Mike Johnson. "To be clear, our plan isn't to just not do what voters asked us to do. No, sir. We are going for the outright antithesis of everything we were supposed to accomplish. We aren't going to simply not reduce government spending -- we're going to make it so much worse. And we're going to keep at it until we've gotten crushed in the midterms and can't do anything ever. That's a promise."

Senate leaders have joined the House Republicans in echoing their commitment to railroading every hope that voters once harbored. "Anything you voted for us to do, consider it not done," said Senate Majority Leader John Thune. "Then consider the opposite done. That's the plan, and we're sticking to it."

At publishing time, Republicans in Congress had polled constituents to see if there were any other important issues they could make worse.

[V_TWIN]

- Once again The Bee drifts from satire and into the realm of reality. -

[Disambiguator]

To paraphrase a line from Spinal Tap, there’s a fine line between satire and reality.

[Openurmind]

I didn’t know they even did fact...

[Paladin2]

In exactly what ways is this not true?

[Paladin2]

In exactly what ways is this not true?

[MeanWestTexan]

“In exactly what ways is this not true?”

Well, the Congressional Republicans are not honest enough to actually admit they do this, compared to the article, where they admit they do the opposite of what is promised.

Other than that, this is 100% true.

[gundog]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yqqqZxeKhiM

[Bon of Babble]

It’s extremely difficult to separate fake news from real news these days. Seems the Babylon Bee is right on when it comes to real news...disguised as fake news.

[No name given]

Sad.

[No name given]

Exactly.

[No name given]

Indeed.

[sjmjax]

I believe that what the Babylon Bee actually does is report the news in less ambiguous terms.

[TalBlack]

“Republicans have announced that they will instead do the complete and total opposite.“

As well they should! Any promises they made to us were made before they understood that Epstein actually killed himself and the Butler assassin acted totally alone. Ok, let’s get on with the business of America.

[Hatteras]

Where have I seen this before... And before... And before...

Republican representatives need to start waking up next to bloody horseheads courtesy of the voters. Unfortunately for Republican voters, they are too busy working and providing for their families to take a stand. Ergo nobody pays attention to their concerns.

On the other hand, Democrats and the progressive left? They are loud, nuts and will attempt many mindless and often times criminal acts. Yes, they are seen as crazy. But they are also taken seriously (as a threat) and they make the evening news. To paraphrase Neon Deion, it doesn't matter what people think of them, just as long as you spell their names right.

[V_TWIN]

You two DO realize this is satire...right?

[Hatteras]

It’s called “satire” but it really isn’t. Its unwinding the spin from the truth.

[SuperLuminal]

Their (GOP) actions, real and imaginary, need no analysis or discussion...

The GOP’s unblemished history of back-stabbing a sitting GOP President is an impeccable source...

[TalBlack]

Lol, so was my reply.