Skip to comments.
Eagle Firing AR-15 Emerges From Vatican Indicating An American Pope Has Been Selected
babylonbee.com ^
| May 8, 2025
Posted on 05/08/2025 1:28:03 PM PDT by V_TWIN
VATICAN — In an aerial display that delighted millions, the Vatican conclave released a bald eagle firing an AR-15 into the air to signal that an American pope had been selected.
Sources say the crowd roared as the majestic eagle soared across the sky and the sweet sounds of 5.56 ammunition cracked in the air.
"Yee-haw! We got ourselves a new Pope!" said thousands of Americans, who were also shooting their AR-15s into the air. "USA! USA! USA!"
Cardinal Pietro Parolin, who presided over the conclave, said the epic display was mandated by Pope John Paul II in 2002 to prepare for the future possibility of an American pope. "We have been told that Americans enjoy these sorts of things," he said.
Sources within the Vatican confirmed that the ceremony will conclude with a red, white, and blue fireworks display and a meal of Chicago deep-dish pizza and Miller Lite.
At publishing time, the newly elected Pope Leo XIV wowed fans by doing burnouts in his Trans-Am popemobile.
TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: popebob
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-29 next last
1
posted on
05/08/2025 1:28:03 PM PDT
by
V_TWIN
To: V_TWIN
He strikes me as very anti-American.
I can’t be more disappointed
2
posted on
05/08/2025 1:33:47 PM PDT
by
TheThirdRuffian
(Orange is the new brown)
To: V_TWIN
Now that’s funny, I don’t care who you are...
3
posted on
05/08/2025 1:34:07 PM PDT
by
packrat35
(Pureblood! No clot shot for me!)
To: V_TWIN
4
posted on
05/08/2025 1:34:43 PM PDT
by
Jamestown1630
("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
To: V_TWIN
5
posted on
05/08/2025 1:35:01 PM PDT
by
FlingWingFlyer
(We now have RAT activists interpreting their version of the Constitution. Who needs da Supremes?)
To: V_TWIN
Bee has lots of good ones up right now
6
posted on
05/08/2025 1:36:12 PM PDT
by
mykroar
("It's Not the Nature of the Evidence; It's the Seriousness of the Charge." - El Rushbo)
To: TheThirdRuffian
It’s satire dude.....try to enjoy it
7
posted on
05/08/2025 1:37:41 PM PDT
by
V_TWIN
(America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
To: TheThirdRuffian
Maybe we should wait and see what he does.
8
posted on
05/08/2025 1:38:20 PM PDT
by
Jamestown1630
("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
To: packrat35
For some reason that reminds me of this old meme...
But also this...
9
posted on
05/08/2025 1:39:08 PM PDT
by
z3n
(Kakistocracy)
To: packrat35
/sarc tag
10
posted on
05/08/2025 1:40:24 PM PDT
by
Tell It Right
(1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
To: V_TWIN
I think he’s talking about the real guy, not the eagle.
11
posted on
05/08/2025 1:55:33 PM PDT
by
Ancesthntr
("The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." The Weapons Shops of Isher)
To: V_TWIN
This is quite the surprising event--An American Pope from Illinois.
No one from Chicago likes the Cardinals.
Baseball joke
12
posted on
05/08/2025 1:59:30 PM PDT
by
ShadowAce
(Linux - The Ultimate Windows Service Pack )
To: z3n
Oh man! I was all set to reply “In before someone posts “America, F Yeah...” :-)
13
posted on
05/08/2025 1:59:43 PM PDT
by
Nervous Tick
(Hope, as a righteous product of properly aligned Faith, IS in fact a strategy.)
To: TheThirdRuffian
The new Pope said today, “God loves us all, unconditionally”.
But God hated Esau.
To: ShadowAce
15
posted on
05/08/2025 2:05:00 PM PDT
by
dfwgator
(Endut! Hoch Hech!)
To: V_TWIN
And here he is...
16
posted on
05/08/2025 2:06:18 PM PDT
by
ProtectOurFreedom
(“Diversity is our Strength” just doesn’t carry the same message as “Death from Above”)
To: ShadowAce
Sources tell me he is a Cubs fan.
17
posted on
05/08/2025 2:09:33 PM PDT
by
Bayard
To: V_TWIN
Here in Mexico, everyone is saying that Donald Trump and J.D. Vance had a hand in selecting this pope.. That Trump fixed the voting as he is trying to take over everything.
To: z3n
19
posted on
05/08/2025 2:39:45 PM PDT
by
mykroar
("It's Not the Nature of the Evidence; It's the Seriousness of the Charge." - El Rushbo)
To: rovenstinez
Do they know he specifically is probably not fond of Trump and pro illegal?
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-29 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson
