Most successful grifters come across that way until their cover is blown.
Sadly, it’s the key to the con in all walks of life and in all circumstances.
The guy that comes off like a jerk will never be able to run a con.
As Reagan said long ago, trust but *verify*. I don’t need to verify to hoist a stein with someone. But - if we’re going to talk dollars or support or whatever? You’re going to verify. And if you actually have integrity? You’re not going to be offended by my wanting verify.
Trust can be built over time and consistency. It isn’t built by being friendly and collegial. That can get you in the front door. But sitting down at the table?