I am fifty and only in the last few years have I been able to move past the hurt that my mother inflicted upon me.
I was employed in the mental health field for almost four years (until the Biden economy forced me to look for work that paid more). I was regularly working with adults, some older than I, who were still in recovery from things that happened when they were children.
Child abuse resonates and rings long into life. I suppose I'm very fortunate, I have had good people who God brought into my own life who have helped me move along. Others aren't so fortunate.
Catherine, Princess of Wales is really onto something by devoting much of her royal capital towards the work of studying ‘The Early Years’
“...Over the last decade, The Princess of Wales has spent time looking into how experiences in early childhood are often the root cause of today’s hardest social challenges, such as addiction, family breakdown, poor mental health, suicide and homelessness...What we experience in our early years, from conception to the age of five, shapes the developing brain, which is why positive physical, emotional and cognitive development during this period is so crucial...In June 2021, The Princess of Wales launched The Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood.”
https://royalfoundation.com/early-childhood/
It was only after my brother killed himself because he tried to be like my Dad and couldn’t, my sister killed herself because she didn’t want to end up angry like he was, my Mom killed herself because she couldn’t be as perfect as my Dad previously required of her, and I survived my ex-wife trying to destroy my life for 5 years that I learned I am one tough son of a bitch.
I am reading for the 3rd time Pat Conroy’s “The Death of Santini”. You’ll remember he wrote “The Great Santini” - growing up with a Marine pilot father who beat his wife and children as if it was as normal as sitting down to a meal.
That book was putting to bed the feelings he had for his father. He himself suffered mental breakdowns and no wonder. He’s no longer with us but what a mind and what a way with words he had - like no one else....
Nearly all the books he wrote were a portrait into his life. He was the oldest of 7 children and 5 of them would try to kill themselves before the age of 40 - one succeeded when he jumped off a building in Charleston, SC...
He said he hated his father when he was still in diapers; before he even knew there was a word for what he felt. He was able to write this book and put it away!!!
Nobody can understand such an upbringing but Gene Hackman was able to come out of it with great talent and no doubt after suffering as much as Pat Conroy and his siblings did.
Didn’t mean to hijack your thread and I thank you for posting it.