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Uh Oh: Saint Peter Starts Asking Everyone At Pearly Gates To List Five Ways They Advanced God's Kingdom On Earth
Babylon Bee ^ | February 26, 2025 | Staff

Posted on 03/01/2025 8:32:50 AM PST by Twotone

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1 posted on 03/01/2025 8:32:50 AM PST by Twotone
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To: Twotone

Poop Frankie is screwed now...


2 posted on 03/01/2025 8:34:02 AM PST by kiryandil (No one in AZ that voted for Trump voted for Gallego )
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To: Twotone

That tanks most of the Methodists.


3 posted on 03/01/2025 8:39:12 AM PST by MMusson ( )
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To: Twotone

Faith without works.


4 posted on 03/01/2025 8:41:36 AM PST by nwrep
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To: MMusson

I’d be trying to find one of the more religious members of the FR community on the line!

Screaming out their names. “Please...just 5!!”

Pleading guilty with an explanation probably won’t cut it..


5 posted on 03/01/2025 8:42:05 AM PST by dp0622 (Tried a coup, a fake tax story, tramp slander, Russia nonsense, impeachment and a virus. They lost.)
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To: nwrep

“Faith without works.”

Is like a screen door on a submarine. - Rich Mullins


6 posted on 03/01/2025 8:53:44 AM PST by Whatever Works (The real power lies in who counts the votes and controls the teleprompter.)
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To: Twotone

Wow, I sometimes wonder what more I can do to be a vessel for Jesus.
Paul had some fear and trembling.


7 posted on 03/01/2025 9:03:07 AM PST by Karliner (Heb 4:12 Rom 8:28 Rev 3, "...This is the end of the beginning." Churchill)
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To: Twotone

8 posted on 03/01/2025 9:10:20 AM PST by fidelis (Ecce Crucem Domini! Fugite partes adversae! Vicit Leo de tribu Juda, Radix David! Alleluia!)
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To: fidelis

9 posted on 03/01/2025 9:11:40 AM PST by fidelis (Ecce Crucem Domini! Fugite partes adversae! Vicit Leo de tribu Juda, Radix David! Alleluia!)
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To: MMusson

Unfortunately it tanks almost everyone. I know it’s the bee but most people can’t come up with a single item.


10 posted on 03/01/2025 9:12:57 AM PST by wgmalabama (For rent —)
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To: Twotone
""We need to make sure people are putting in at least some effort down there," a spokesangel said. "All they need to do is respond with a simple bulleted list of five things they did on earth to advance the cause of the Gospel. This shouldn't be difficult to do. We're just looking for the bare minimum here.""

Uh oh.

11 posted on 03/01/2025 9:32:18 AM PST by OKSooner (FOOLS!! I'll assimilate them all!!!! BWAHAHA!!!)
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To: Twotone

My children and grandchildren. Nothing more need be said.


12 posted on 03/01/2025 9:49:42 AM PST by Lonesome in Massachussets
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To: wgmalabama
I did about $200 worth of groceries to my local food pantry. Never did it before.

I do St. Jude every year in lieu of gifts for my children. They're in their late 50s.

13 posted on 03/01/2025 10:08:12 AM PST by Sacajaweau
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To: Twotone
One of my entries would be,

I posted on FreeRepublic and I didn't use any profanity.

14 posted on 03/01/2025 10:31:47 AM PST by A Cyrenian (MO's state motto: Let the welfare of the people be the supreme law.)
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To: Twotone

faith alone for Protestants


15 posted on 03/01/2025 10:39:03 AM PST by mjp (pro-freedom & pro-wealth $)
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To: Twotone

He emailed it to you...

... in a manner that looks like a phishing email.

So you deleted it as ‘ultra junk mail’ and reported it as a ‘phishing expedition’.

Elon is a social moron !


16 posted on 03/01/2025 10:45:51 AM PST by Pikachu_Dad
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To: mjp

” If you Love me, OBEY my commands.”


17 posted on 03/01/2025 10:59:21 AM PST by cowboyusa (YESHUA IS KING 0F AMERICA, AND HE WILL HAVE oNO OTHER GODS BEFORE HIM!)
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To: Twotone

Did the big guy send out E-MAILS?


18 posted on 03/01/2025 11:04:22 AM PST by Mark (DONATE ONCE every 3 months-is that a big deal?)
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To: Twotone













_____________________________________________________



19 posted on 03/01/2025 12:46:15 PM PST by Albion Wilde (“Did you ever meet a woke person that’s happy? There’s no such thing.” —Donald J. Trump)
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To: kiryandil; MMusson; nwrep; dp0622; Whatever Works; Karliner; fidelis; wgmalabama; OKSooner; ...
Click here: post 19.
20 posted on 03/01/2025 12:47:44 PM PST by Albion Wilde (“Did you ever meet a woke person that’s happy? There’s no such thing.” —Donald J. Trump)
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