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Uh Oh: Saint Peter Starts Asking Everyone At Pearly Gates To List Five Ways They Advanced God's Kingdom On Earth
Babylon Bee ^
| February 26, 2025
| Staff
Posted on 03/01/2025 8:32:50 AM PST by Twotone
click here to read article
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1
posted on
03/01/2025 8:32:50 AM PST
by
Twotone
To: Twotone
Poop Frankie is screwed now...
2
posted on
03/01/2025 8:34:02 AM PST
by
kiryandil
(No one in AZ that voted for Trump voted for Gallego )
To: Twotone
That tanks most of the Methodists.
3
posted on
03/01/2025 8:39:12 AM PST
by
MMusson
( )
To: Twotone
4
posted on
03/01/2025 8:41:36 AM PST
by
nwrep
To: MMusson
I’d be trying to find one of the more religious members of the FR community on the line!
Screaming out their names. “Please...just 5!!”
Pleading guilty with an explanation probably won’t cut it..
5
posted on
03/01/2025 8:42:05 AM PST
by
dp0622
(Tried a coup, a fake tax story, tramp slander, Russia nonsense, impeachment and a virus. They lost.)
To: nwrep
“Faith without works.”
Is like a screen door on a submarine. - Rich Mullins
6
posted on
03/01/2025 8:53:44 AM PST
by
Whatever Works
(The real power lies in who counts the votes and controls the teleprompter.)
To: Twotone
Wow, I sometimes wonder what more I can do to be a vessel for Jesus.
Paul had some fear and trembling.
7
posted on
03/01/2025 9:03:07 AM PST
by
Karliner
(Heb 4:12 Rom 8:28 Rev 3, "...This is the end of the beginning." Churchill)
To: Twotone
8
posted on
03/01/2025 9:10:20 AM PST
by
fidelis
(Ecce Crucem Domini! Fugite partes adversae! Vicit Leo de tribu Juda, Radix David! Alleluia!)
To: fidelis
9
posted on
03/01/2025 9:11:40 AM PST
by
fidelis
(Ecce Crucem Domini! Fugite partes adversae! Vicit Leo de tribu Juda, Radix David! Alleluia!)
To: MMusson
Unfortunately it tanks almost everyone. I know it’s the bee but most people can’t come up with a single item.
10
posted on
03/01/2025 9:12:57 AM PST
by
wgmalabama
(For rent —)
To: Twotone
""We need to make sure people are putting in at least some effort down there," a spokesangel said. "All they need to do is respond with a simple bulleted list of five things they did on earth to advance the cause of the Gospel. This shouldn't be difficult to do. We're just looking for the bare minimum here.""Uh oh.
11
posted on
03/01/2025 9:32:18 AM PST
by
OKSooner
(FOOLS!! I'll assimilate them all!!!! BWAHAHA!!!)
To: Twotone
My children and grandchildren. Nothing more need be said.
To: wgmalabama
I did about $200 worth of groceries to my local food pantry. Never did it before.
I do St. Jude every year in lieu of gifts for my children. They're in their late 50s.
To: Twotone
One of my entries would be,
I posted on FreeRepublic and I didn't use any profanity.
14
posted on
03/01/2025 10:31:47 AM PST
by
A Cyrenian
(MO's state motto: Let the welfare of the people be the supreme law.)
To: Twotone
faith alone for Protestants
15
posted on
03/01/2025 10:39:03 AM PST
by
mjp
(pro-freedom & pro-wealth $)
To: Twotone
He emailed it to you...
... in a manner that looks like a phishing email.
So you deleted it as ‘ultra junk mail’ and reported it as a ‘phishing expedition’.
Elon is a social moron !
To: mjp
” If you Love me, OBEY my commands.”
17
posted on
03/01/2025 10:59:21 AM PST
by
cowboyusa
(YESHUA IS KING 0F AMERICA, AND HE WILL HAVE oNO OTHER GODS BEFORE HIM!)
To: Twotone
Did the big guy send out E-MAILS?
18
posted on
03/01/2025 11:04:22 AM PST
by
Mark
(DONATE ONCE every 3 months-is that a big deal?)
To: Twotone













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19
posted on
03/01/2025 12:46:15 PM PST
by
Albion Wilde
(“Did you ever meet a woke person that’s happy? There’s no such thing.” —Donald J. Trump)
To: kiryandil; MMusson; nwrep; dp0622; Whatever Works; Karliner; fidelis; wgmalabama; OKSooner; ...
20
posted on
03/01/2025 12:47:44 PM PST
by
Albion Wilde
(“Did you ever meet a woke person that’s happy? There’s no such thing.” —Donald J. Trump)
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