Yes, I think I beat the ‘odds’.
I knew a lot of really sh!tty men, before I met my husband. They all just wanted to use, and not commit.
I finally met my husband, and we’ve been happily joined at the hip for over 32 years, now.
But it couldn’t have happened to me, if I had carried resentment, and thought that precedent necessarily indicated the future.
You can have a different future, too; if you just DECIDE to.
I believe profoundly that the way people DECIDE to *think* determines their futures.
You are probably around the same age as me. You need to watch some youtube stuff about dating/relationships now. Its not exactly the same as when we were.
And generally when men won’t commit, its usually because they don’t have to, they are the top 10-20% of men and have no reason to. Women will still date and have sex with them but will be dropped if they want to get serious. Perhaps those were the guys who wouldn’t commit to you.
There are plenty of men who will commit to women, but those aren’t the guys women are after because they are average guys. Now those guys don’t even show up on womens radar as even being real people with real feelings. Today, average guys are invisible to average women. All women think they can shoot for the 8/9/10 guy, and an average girl may actually get a top guy to sleep with her but not marry her. She thinks she now deserves a top guy and her bar is raised, but she cant get one for a relationship, just sex. A top guy having sex with you is easy, getting commitment is hard. But she thinks they are the same, its alpha widow thinking. But because of this she thinks she can get a guy way out of her league, and the ones she can get commitment from, she now feels are beneath her - kicker is, they aren’t, her self value is grossly overinflated. Why? Sex with a top guy isn’t an accomplishment, getting commitment from one, is, and she didn’t achieve that.
So then they “settle” for a guy who is really more on their level or slightly above, but because they feel they arent getting the guy they deserve (alpha widow thinking again) they are resentful and have all these rules these poor bastards must follow, sex is weaponized and turned into reward systems, etc. The future guy pays for what the prior guys did, etc..
Its gotten a lot more unpleasant than when dating 30 years ago. And please stop making assumptions about what I have or haven’t been through, you really have no clue. I’ve had plenty of friends, family and acquaintences experiences to base beliefs upon, others sharing their stories about whzt they’ve been through to help men avoid going through what they have, and just understanding that female relationship strategies are not the same as mens, understanding hypergamy, understanding on some things AWALT is very true.