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Newsom Reassures Fire Victims He’ll Be Prepared Next Time, Now That He Knows Water Is Useful In Fighting Fires
Babylon Bee ^ | January 10, 2025 | staff

Posted on 01/10/2025 8:54:33 AM PST by Morgana

SACRAMENTO, CA — As wildfires continued to spread destruction across large swathes of California, Governor Gavin Newsom reassured victims of the fires that he'll be more prepared next time now that he knows water is useful in fighting fires.

In a meeting with a crowd of people whose homes, cars, and belongings had been incinerated by the fires, Newsom reiterated that he won't dump all of the state's water into the ocean next time, as it could come in handy battling the blazes.

"I'll be the first to admit — having some water available would have been beneficial," Newsom said. "But now that we've been informed that water is helpful for extinguishing fire, we'll make sure not to put all of it back into the ocean. This time was an unavoidable mistake — we just didn't know. I plead ignorance. Now that we've learned our lesson, next wildfire season should go a bit more smoothly."

Newsom's statement came after several days of intense research into fires and how to put them out, in which his staff discovered that water was the oldest and most effective substance used by human beings to extinguish flames.

At publishing time, Newsom further reassured fire victims that the state would be even better prepared for the next wildfire season by asking the delta smelt fish if California could borrow back some of the water it gave them.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
Don't hold your breath!
1 posted on 01/10/2025 8:54:33 AM PST by Morgana
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To: Morgana

CA needs to create a Commission to study how to create another Commission to figure out how to create the best possible Commission.


2 posted on 01/10/2025 8:56:57 AM PST by cgbg (It is time to pull the Deep State out of the mass media--like ticks from a dog.)
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To: Morgana

How much would it cost to melt all the ice in Greenland (once we get it), and pipe it to California? Then they could dump all that into the Pacific instead of their own water.


3 posted on 01/10/2025 9:05:07 AM PST by Telepathic Intruder
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To: Morgana

LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE OF IT! The Smelt fish are doing well now the reservoirs and dams once used for fire suppression, have been destroyed and drained. and the brush was for nesting birds and ground animals so the Greenies could go out and commune with Mother Nature!
Now Mother Nature has bit them in the butt big time. And where is the LA mayor> In Ghana Africa weeping at the slave pens, wailing at the Door of no Return and blubbering about how terrible the US is. But when her tax payer paid vacation is over she will hop on an air conditioned jet and return to the land she hates.


4 posted on 01/10/2025 9:07:19 AM PST by Ruy Dias de Bivar
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To: Morgana
The Bee is being sarcastic, but HERE is a link to a 2019 Ass Press "Fact Check" in which the following absurdity was presented as truth:

THE FACTS: Trump’s point is irrelevant to battling wildfires. “Fire suppression is not limited in any way by the availability of water,” Westerling said.

Yes, Virginia, media, politicians, and "experts" really are that stupid.

5 posted on 01/10/2025 9:14:11 AM PST by Billthedrill
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To: Morgana

Of course it’s satire.

Newsome would never do anything so practical and wise.


6 posted on 01/10/2025 9:44:51 AM PST by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus)
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To: Morgana

The need to use water in California to fight fires is over-rated!!!

California is mostly desert, they should USE SAND!!!!


7 posted on 01/10/2025 10:09:39 AM PST by OHPatriot (Si vis pacem, para bellum)
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To: Morgana

Newsom: I’ll be prepared. I’ll be the one touring Ghana next time.

To reporters surrounding him in Ghana:
Nsɛmmisa biara nni hɔ.

(English translation of twi words: “No questions.”)


8 posted on 01/10/2025 10:16:31 AM PST by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls. )
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To: OHPatriot

And if it doesn’t work, tell the Dem voters to pound it.


9 posted on 01/10/2025 10:17:05 AM PST by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls. )
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To: OHPatriot

And if it doesn’t work, tell the Dem voters to pound it.


10 posted on 01/10/2025 10:17:09 AM PST by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls. )
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To: Morgana

11 posted on 01/10/2025 10:17:50 AM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Morgana
Meanwhile, in Anaheim I'm sure that Disneyland had all the water it needed to run the rides like Jungle Cruise, Nemo, Small World, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Splash Mountain (or whatever they're calling it now).

-PJ

12 posted on 01/10/2025 10:24:27 AM PST by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: Morgana

CLOSER TO THE TRUTH ABOUT NEWSCUM THAN WE KNOW.


13 posted on 01/10/2025 10:28:46 AM PST by ridesthemiles (not giving up on TRUMP---EVER)
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