Satire: 'Now Now, Let's Not Be So Hasty To Find And Assassinate Everyone Responsible For The Healthcare Crisis,' Says Nervous Obama

The Bee ^ | December 12, 2024 | Staff

[Navy Patriot]

MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA — In the wake of the assassination of the UnitedHealth CEO, former President Barack Obama stepped forward to calm tensions by reminding Americans not to be too hasty to find and assassinate everyone responsible for the healthcare crisis.

In an only slightly nervous statement to the nation, a visibly sweating Obama reminded people not to jump into hunting down and killing everyone who might be considered responsible for causing the terrible state of American healthcare.

"Now, now, let's not get carried away here," said Obama, tapping the floor faster and faster as an eyebrow inadvertently twitched. "Surely the answer here isn't more violence. After all, we can't just go around slaughtering all of the people responsible for our messed-up healthcare system now, can we? All I'm saying is, let's not be overly rushed about this."

Sources report that Obama then walked somewhat quickly back to his armored security detail, casting quick glances to his left and right as he went.

At publishing time, Fauci had also gone on record to remind Americans that there's no need to go find and kill all of the people who may have adversely affected public healthcare in the US.

[Navy Patriot]

Hussein sounds nervous.

[dljordan]

The NIH is still torturing animals in China.

[z3n]

[Da Coyote]

Dorkbama, the lying Muslim eunuch quota boy couldn’t qualify for even the lowest medical position. Actually, he did the only occupation for the talentless and brainless: Democrat politician.

[laplata]

Sissy Hussein is a real nasty piece of work and one Evil bastard.

[laplata]

👍

[Jim Noble]

The crisis has been brewing since 1965.

Obamacare was a failed attempt to put off collapse.

[bimboeruption]

>>>>Hussein sounds nervous.<<<<

And rightfully so.

[SaxxonWoods]

The liberal press stopped calling it Obamacare quite some time ago.

[fwdude]

Is someone eunuch if he plays the passive role?

[rktman]

Cause he’s mostly responsible with the unaffordable ACA?

[A strike]

I would second giving Hussain Osama the beagle treatment.

[PIF]

Hussein sounds nervous
—
he should - it was his “affordable” care package regulations (which were designed to put private insures out of business) that forced private insurers into positions that raised costs and cut care just to survive.

[TornadoAlley3]

Squawking Warren says it’s to be expected.

[Navy Patriot]

I can confirm that your comment was EXACTLY Accurate.

[Navy Patriot]

Agree.

[Navy Patriot]

The liberal press stopped calling it Obamacare quite some time ago.

Yes, the National Negro's Praetorian Guard did that.

[metmom]

The Bee strikes again.

Dead on.

[clearcarbon]

"'Now Now, Let's Not Be So Hasty To Find And Assassinate Everyone Responsible For The Healthcare Crisis,' Says Nervous Obama"

[dznutz]