There’s a lot about the culture of those times, and of Thomas Jefferson’s temperament, that I don’t think you know or are considering.
Political enemies in those days are no different from those of today; they will accuse all sorts of things that are not true at all. In some ways, they were even more vicious than ours are today.
Thomas deeply loved and grieved his wife, barely leaving his room for months after her death; and he wasn’t a very hot-blooded man, was actually what we might call today a ‘cold fish’, far more intellectual than passionate. And he despised slavery, and did everything he could to enable slaves to be free - when slaves ran away from Monticello, as soon as he knew they were doing alright on their own, he didn’t do anything to get them back; and he helped to educate Sally’s own brother, made him his chef, and manumitted him.
Learn about his brother, Randolph; and read some of the correspondence between them. You might get a clue.
Re: 14 - I think it’s fair to say that Jefferson tolerated slavery. Monticello and the United States could not have been sustained without slavery being taken into account.
It is a testament to the Founders that the US overcame slavery.