Posted on 11/08/2024 6:51:58 AM PST by aquila48
They moved to France from San Francisco in October 2023, but just over 12 months later, Joanna McIsaac-Kierklo and her husband Ed Kierklo say they are on the brink of returning to the US.
While Joanna, 74, and Ed, 75, intended to spend the rest of their lives in the European country, the retired couple have struggled to make friends and are becoming increasingly frustrated with French bureaucracy.
“We gave it a year here,” says Joanna. “And we just said, ‘Too much grief and no joy.’ There’s no fun. We’re struggling every day.”
“I honestly don’t think we could have put in any more effort to acclimatize to the French way of life,” adds Joanna, who describes their experience as “a nightmare.”
While they’re still working out the finer details of their imminent return, Joanna and Ed say that they’re “frustrated and exhausted,” by life in France and feel ready to “give up and leave.”
Uprooting their lives in the Californian city and moving to France was certainly not a decision taken lightly, they say.
Joanna and Ed, who’ve been married for 20 years, had already traveled the world extensively, both together and separately, beforehand.
“I didn’t get married till I was in my 50s,” says Joanna, who is originally from San Francisco. “So when I met my husband, we traveled.
“We have no children. No siblings. No parents. There’s nothing to encumber us doing exactly what we please.”
Joanna explains that she and Ed bought and sold three different homes during their first 15 years of marriage, “giving us a comfortable amount of cash to afford us the option to travel and even relocate to anywhere we wanted.”
(Excerpt) Read more at amp.cnn.com ...
My bro in law retired, they sold their house and moved to Fla. two years ago. He regrets it and bought a house back here [Ct] Now they are here most the year and go back to Fla when the snow starts. I had been thinking of moving too but now I think I will stay.
They quit at the critical and most difficult stage of culture shock. They moved to France without understanding how culture shock works in the mind. Oberg in 1954(?) proposed four phases. Christian missionaries study and prepare for the phenomenon during their deputation and training. The problem is more complicated than simple study may suggest, and as the term has entered the popular culture, most people assume they know what it means though they have read nothing about it.
It would be essential that at least one of you have fluency in the French language before making such a move. While in Paris you might find many natives who speak English, not so in the other areas of France. You would also need to immerse yourself if the peculiarities of French culture where interaction between people especially “etrangers” is very formal. Many things in France are not like in the US, supermarkets are not quite what you find in the US and many French still shop almost daily for food at small markets. Amenities like central heating and especially air conditioning are not commonplace. The French bureaucracy is notorious and at least on par with your worst DMV experience in the US. That said if you speak French well and are comfortable with the French way of doing things the French people are wonderful. I studied in France in my college days and still speak French quite fluently. I have on occasion met French tourists in the US and to their surprise and delight I always speak to them in French and make them feel welcome here.
"Wherever you go, there you are."
A friend of mine worked in Australia for several years. He told me that an absolutely sure-fire way to infuriate Aussies is to tell them that even though they speak English, they’re still a third-world country.
I don’t think these people fully understood the culture before dumping themselves in the middle of it.
But I don’t think anyone understands the culture shock involved in going to live in a foreign country. The US is a unique culture and everything is going to be vastly different from what we’re used to.
I’m an Anglophile in many ways; but even with the same language and so much tradition in common, I know that if I went to live in England I would forever feel like a foreigner. I’m an American.
I can’t imagine moving to France if I did not speak the language.
LOL!
They’re also very different from Americans in terms of making friends, at least in cities. I can see how a gregarious American would wind up feeling lonely.
One must always remember. When a vacation place feels perfect and you think you should live there, Part of your happiness is the fact that you are on vacation. Living there is different feeling once the new wears off.
And things probably wouldn’t have gone well for us had the French not helped during the Revolution.
I went to Sydney, and I thought I was in Beijing.
“The grass is green on the other side of the fence, but not greener.”
True. I’ve lived a lot of different places. When people ask would I go back to *** or ***, I couldn’t say. They’ve all been great in some way. “Green, but not greener.”
“their dream life in France became a ‘nightmare’”
they chose poorly ...
BTW - LOVE your tagline!
I can’t count the number of people that moved here during and after covid and then moved back out after a year or two. They get an idealized view of life here when they visit during the busy tourist season and good weather, then they suffer through the seven or eight months of crappy weather and no social life. Next thing you know they’re gone.
Sounds like your future looks bright, no matter where you specifically end up. 👍
LOL
I hope she doesn’t decide to try and live in Amsterdam any time soon. 🙄🙄🙄
“”Wherever you go, there you are.”
Classic movie line.
Another one of my favorites from that is:
“Treat us good and we’ll treat you better. Treat us bad and we’ll treat you worse.”
L
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