Posted on 08/26/2024 4:03:00 AM PDT by grundle
Dear Quentin,
My girlfriend and I don’t plan to get legally married nor married in the eyes of the church. We’re simply having a wedding to celebrate our love, but we are not signing any paperwork. I am concerned that my significant other would lose her state health insurance because she doesn’t work. To cut a long story short, I feel terrible that she’s utilizing a program for low-income people, but she has serious mental-health issues that are completely treatable but expensive. I make too much money for her to qualify for medical assistance if we marry, but not enough to absorb what I’ve calculated to be $35,000 a year in additional expenses.
We want kids eventually and I’m concerned that, given that I live in a state famous for treating men poorly in divorces, she’ll end up with at least half of everything I own despite the fact that I accumulated quite a bit in assets before we ever met. I’m also likely to accumulate quite a bit more in assets before we have a child, and it’s actually necessary or helpful that she stays home to care for said child. We agreed several years ago that it was best she stop working because she was in an extremely high-stress environment as a pharmacy tech that was exacerbating her mental-health issues.
(Excerpt) Read more at finance.yahoo.com ...
Pharmacy techs can get remote employment these days.
A wife and a permanent girlfriend are not really the same thing at all.
After a while he’ll probably qualify for a Common Law Marriage anyway.
See a lawyer In some states if you live together for a certain amount of time you would be considered married (meaning she could still take half your stuff).
One thing those against marriage don’t take into account and that is we all get old, and as we get old we sometimes have medical issues that require some recovery time.
If you are old and single lots of luck finding someone to take care of you (for free).
Reading the piece I took it that HE has the mental issues. We can only take his word for her state. I would advise HER to get away from HIM.
In many states, after x numbers of years of living together, the union is recognized as a common law marriage. That said, it is unfortunate that insurance influences many marriage decisions.
Indians and Muslims do that all the time. Drive through Dearborn, MI or Raliegh, NC and you’ll see hundreds of Muslim/Indian women driving Mercedes Benz, and carrying Prada handbags. Follow them long enough and you’ll see them pay for groceries with an EBT card. Why? Because the Mosques/Temples don’t require wedding licenses and things of that sort. So, while Big Mo/Anup own(s) a half-dozen gas stations and a couple of restaurants, his wife is technically unmarried and entitled to the welfare the state offers her and her kids. Food, medical, and whatever the precious things need from Uncle Sugar. Couple that with the fact these folks will have three families living under the same roof (Grandma, Grandad and three brothers with their wives and kids) splitting all the bills, three ways, you can see how they can afford the really nice houses in the really nice areas, while driving really nice cars and sending their kids to private schools so they can later take seats away from my sons. Rant off.
Dear Abby, dear Abby,
Well, I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed, Just Married...
And he needs to seriously reconsider having children if he does stay.
~...the thoroughly Biblical concept and requirement...~
Where does the Bible command a license from the state/government to be married?
Where are examples in the Bible of such a license?
If this is such a “thoroughly biblical concept” as you suggest, then you should be able to provide thoroughly biblical citations.
Caution is advised with “render unto Caesar” usage, because tyrants throughout history have made unbiblical laws. So other than that broad brush, please provide the thoroughly biblical examples for a state sanctioned marriage license..
When did the practice of government licenses to marry show up in history? It wasn’t in biblical times.
Your citation of Romans 13:1-3, rather smacks as in insult, implying that I’m ignorant of biblical truth and that you’re somehow more intellectual in biblical matters. Kinda rude.
While there is a process to sign a contract with the state to be approved to marry through their license, it is not a requirement to be married. Participation is optional, therefore not mandated and those who choose to not have the state sanction their marriage are not rebelling against authority, rather “... do[ing] what is good and ...will receive [H]is approval”
We await your “thoroughly biblical” examples for a state sanctioned marriage license...
If you enter into a “commitment” while making plans for the separation, then all you are is temporary roommates.
If I go there will be trouble
And I if I stay it will be double
Good Lord. RUN. NOW. And then do a little serious self-reflection to discover how you got yourself into such a wildly dysfunctional ‘relationship’, and why you think scamming society is in any way an ethical approach to life.
Also, if he dies, she and the kids won’t get survivor SS benefits. He could be condemning them to a life of poverty and hardship.
My lady and I have a related problem. We are in our 70s without children and both have decent 401k savings. If married, and one of us has considerable medical expenses, both of our retirement savings accounts would be fair game for medical bills. Marriage risks poverty for both of us. No marriage guarantees the surviving partner will still have income. We own our home and vehicles together. All of our cash and retirement accounts designate the other as heir or POD. Wills designate everything else to the other.
We want kids ...............................
Why do so many think that will solve their problems?
By getting married, they will also take an extra $14,600 deduction hit at tax time by having to file “joint/married” instead of two single head of household filers.
He accumulated a lot but doesn’t want to pay for her insurance, he wants taxes to pay for it.
This guy plans to hang her out to dry. He doesn’t love her. He is cruel.
Must be something better than a symbolic wedding can’t you use her as a dependent.
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