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Are You A New Yorker Moving To Florida? Here Are 10 Things To Prepare For
Babylon Bee ^ | June 7, 2024 | Staff

Posted on 06/08/2024 12:02:21 PM PDT by Twotone

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To: Twotone

We call them immigrants from blue states. - Bless their heart.

We live in Georgia and despise these immigrants. I personally call them out when they refuse to register their vehicles in our great state.

I have no problem calling them out whenever possible. You immigrate to our state - conform to our standards.


21 posted on 06/08/2024 1:39:03 PM PDT by Dacula
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To: Twotone

I posted this the other day but it applies here too.

The timing for this article is just perfect. If it had come out a month ago I doubt I could have posted a reply. But I’m over dengue fever and my malaria is under control now. I have more time now that my wife has learned to walk on her prosthetic leg she received after the incident with a gator. Besides the recovery from some health issues we’re in better spirits now that we have finely gotten over the loss of our beloved dog, Scruffy, to the python. It was much harder to bounce back from than losing a cat or two...or five to a python or rattler. One thing is the pythons tend to keep the number of monitor lizards down.

With the weather being so hot, humid and oppressive I’m inside a lot and have more time to post. (I like AC and I sure wish they could keep the power on more than a few hours a day here.) But we have a big screened in lanai and its shaded. It keeps the swarms of mosquitoes at bay- for the most part- and I just use the leaf blower when the fire ants breach the door. Fortunately most of the fire ants are too large to get past the door sweep.

I would go to the beach, but it’s killer white tiger hammerhead shark season and swimming carries a few risks with the oozing sores I have on my legs from gardening. Other than humans I don’t know what they eat, but I think they may follow the poisonous jellyfish in from deeper water this time of year. BTW, the things you hear about flesh eating microbes in the water aren’t true...well not entirely anyway.

I live in one of the nicer neighborhoods in SW Florida. It’s a gated community, so we rarely get a naked, meth crazed, knifing wielding “Florida Man” holding anyone hostage. And when it happens the sheriff’s office responds quickly and has some pretty good snipers, so most of the time it only a short nuisance event.

So back to my reason for posting. Florida is not for everyone. It offers a lot of freedoms, unless you say “gay”. People are pretty tolerant here and I guess that is why there are so many white supremacists of all creeds and colors. But hurricane season is rough and many people will not want to live with the 50% chance each year of being swept out to sea in a storm surge. So my recommendation is for people to STAY AWAY from Florida and consider states further north if they want sun, surf and safety.


22 posted on 06/08/2024 1:46:36 PM PDT by chickenlips (Neuter your politicians)
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To: Bethaneidh

It’s like Waterworld except people are living on a limestone bridge over the water. Sometimes the bridges collapse and take part of a neighborhood with them.


23 posted on 06/08/2024 2:13:51 PM PDT by mikey_hates_everything
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To: Twotone

They need to consider the horrifying fact that many around them are armed at all times.


24 posted on 06/08/2024 2:14:18 PM PDT by doorgunner69 (When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty)
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To: chickenlips

“consider states further north if they want sun, surf and safety.”

They should consider New Joisy, Delaware. and Mary land

Lots of liberal kindred spirits and laws they like.


25 posted on 06/08/2024 2:46:27 PM PDT by doorgunner69 (When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty)
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To: telescope115

BTTT


26 posted on 06/08/2024 3:07:57 PM PDT by Chgogal (To paraphrase Biden: You vote Democrat? Then you ain't smart.)
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To: BobL

Welcome to the normal world. Was stationed in Pensacola in ‘57 and loved the place immediately. Never crossed the Mason-Dixon line again. Spent too much of my time fishing, chasing girls and eating oysters in Apalachicola. When my Greyhound bus arrived at Fort Walton Beach it actually snowed.


27 posted on 06/08/2024 3:51:52 PM PDT by 353FMG
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To: Yardstick

Snakes are the squirrels of Florida,


28 posted on 06/08/2024 4:00:35 PM PDT by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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To: chickenlips

Love it :)


29 posted on 06/08/2024 4:06:05 PM PDT by thesearethetimes... (Had I brought Christ with me, the outcome would have been different. Dr.Eric Cunningham)
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To: 353FMG

Nice, and congrats!


30 posted on 06/08/2024 4:28:54 PM PDT by BobL
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To: Twotone

In Florida, at least across the Orlando/Tampa “middle” section, it rains every day between 2 and 4 PM.

It’s heat related.


31 posted on 06/08/2024 5:30:10 PM PDT by ro_dreaming (Who knew "Idiocracy", "1984", "Enemy of the State", and "Person of Interest" would be non-fiction?)
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To: Georgia Girl 2

3 bdrm 3 bath $16300 from citizens.


32 posted on 06/08/2024 5:50:25 PM PDT by from occupied ga (Your government is your most dangerous enemy - EVs a solution for which there is no problem)
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To: JSM_Liberty
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/sosmap/firearm_mortality/firearm.htm

Why do those statistics need to be age adjusted? A bullet is a bullet.

33 posted on 06/08/2024 7:04:10 PM PDT by SeeSharp
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To: from occupied ga

I wouldn’t doubt it. You know what I miss about Florida? The beach and fresh fish. That’s it.


34 posted on 06/09/2024 6:18:20 AM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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To: Twotone

#6 reminds me of summers visiting my grandmother in the south.


35 posted on 06/09/2024 10:11:53 PM PDT by NetAddicted (MAGA2024)
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To: mikey_hates_everything

Haha.


36 posted on 06/10/2024 1:16:34 PM PDT by Bethaneidh
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To: Twotone

There are boa constrictors that will swallow you whole.
Alligators that will have you for a snack.
Mosquitoes that will drain you.
Hurricanes that will wipe you from existence.


37 posted on 06/10/2024 9:01:44 PM PDT by minnesota_bound (Need more money to buy everything now)
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