What to Know About Raccoons in Your Yard

On Twitter the other day, I ran across a story about a Philadelphia woman who caught a raccoon lounging in her hammock. I once had a similar encounter with a mischievous band of raccoons at my California home.

Late one night, I awoke to creaking and squeaking sounds in the backyard. I turned on the porch light to discover a family of raccoons (aka a nursery or gaze) having a grand old time on my son’s playground set.

On top of seemingly enjoying swinging, we know that raccoons can also be curious, often rummaging through trash bins looking for dinner.

Did you also know raccoons are highly intelligent and dexterous? They can break into unlocked homes by turning doorknobs or flipping a latch on a dog door. And once in the kitchen, raccoons have been known to unscrew the lid from a peanut butter jar and other food containers!

A slightly anonymized story. Many years ago I lived in a very liberal upper midwest state, in a so-so liberal city. Ran a small biomed company and worked 110+ hrs a week.

Eventually had a racoon problem- it was tearing the siding off my ca 1900’s house to get access to the ‘attic’ above my back porch. The conflict escalated. From capsaicin, to expanded metal, to plywood.

I’d come home around 20:00 and the headlight sweep as I pulled into the drive would illuminate the SOB on the roof. While I watched, it would reach down, grasp the edge of the new hole, and somersault into safety. After giving me the racoon finger.

I grew up on a farm, and later, in iron mining country. I know what always works... Eventually bought a .410 bbl for my Contender, but realized that touching off a round might bring a SWAT team. Thought for a while and acquired a Conibear compression (?) trap. I regret to this day that I cannibalized a tongue&groove Dupont Dynamite box to set the stage. Cut a hole in the side of the box and stapled the set trap across the opening. Baited the interior with sardines and canned orange slices. Placed the set on my back roof outside a dormer window.

Heard the trap snap in the wee hours. Harvested the ca #45 coon just after dawn before any of the neighbors were awake. Cut off the head and later prepared the skull - another story - but dropped the carcass off from my diesel Rabbit the next morning on the way to work.

Drove over it a few time so the casual observer would not note an ‘acephalic racoon’ and think aliens!

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