Posted on 12/23/2023 5:27:35 AM PST by lowbridge
They say not to speak ill of the dead, but a Michigan woman did so in writing a scathing obituary about her “violent, hateful, and cruel” mom.
Gayle Harvey Heckman accused her mom, Linda Lernal Harvey Cullum Smith Stull, who died Dec. 12, of condoning sexual assault against her, as well as lying about who her biological father was, the Sturgis Journal reported.
She revealed so many skeletons in the closet that the publisher removed the obit from the Three Rivers news site when readers complained about its shocking contents.
“Well, honestly, I wanted to write it for myself because I wanted to clear my name,” Heckman told the Journal on Thursday.
“For 24 years and before that, my mother has had to come up with a reason as to why her daughter isn’t in her life that doesn’t make her look like a monster. … I had to reclaim my name,” she told the outlet.
-snip
“As a mother, Lernal was violent, hateful, and cruel. She physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally, and financially abused Gayle,” the print obit states, according to the outlet.
It also names one alleged abuser, an ex-husband of her mom’s whom the Journal did not identify.
“Lernal accused Gayle of ‘trying to steal her husband’ and proceeded to beat her senselessly,” the obit reportedly says.
“Gayle and her family forgive Lernal and hope that she has found peace,” it reads.
But the obit concludes, “Lernal will not be missed by Gayle or her family. They all understand the world is a much better place without her.”
Heckman said she found it cathartic to pen the vicious obit.
“I wasn’t trying to be hateful, I genuinely … don’t have any hate. I am angry,” she told the Journal.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
“If we could write Hillary Clinton’s obituary, what would it say?”
The words “ evil “ and “ grifter, “ would have to be included.
5.56mm
I said, as an adult. Get it?
My mother was not a good mother and I hated her from birth.
Then I cared for her in my home 24/7 for three years, age 95 to 98. I forgave her during that time.
Mine was the opposite. Well respected, but smart enough not to socialize and have friends she betrayed.
I was an “oops” baby and told, when I was 12 I “ruined her life.”’(my sisters being a decade plus older). Always treated poorly, but sports star and salutatorian of a huge school.
Would have been homeless after graduation (I was kicked out), but joined the Army at 17 and got on a bus to Ft Rucker Alabama the next day.
She literally moved when I was in the Army and didn’t tell me.
I ended up extremely financially successful, to the point of being in Forbes with some regularity.
When she died, I went to the funeral and kept my mouth shut. My sisters talked about what a bitch she was to them and how she was worse to me — in private.
Dirty laundry makes you look bad. No margin in dumping all over your family.
So true.
Thats not accurate, exactly
There is a tort called “tarnishing the memory of the dead.” The estate can bring the claim.
Mothers do not get an automatic pass. They must earn their accolades. Far too many are failing to do that.
Proof, Joe Biden is a parent.
“My father turned into an evil old man, was a pedophile whose line was “ i’ve never been arrested “; and if you met him casually, you’d like him and think that the rest of us were crazy”
I can relate.
My parents split up when I was young. About 5 years old. Mother retained custody of us kids and after the split, she turned into a mentally ill, abusive monster. No sexual abuse, but plenty of mental, emotional, and physical abuse.
But she kept that side of herself well hidden from outsiders. Assorted friends, acquaintances, even other family members. She was so good at that charade, that masquerade, that people were absolutely convinced she was a Saint. Some of them cluelessly telling me how lucky I am to have such a wonderful person for my mother.
Back when I was a kid, there were PSA tv commercials that advised if you’re an abused child, to tell an adult. The adults I knew were my mothers acquaintances. So, on a few occasions I tried to tell a few of them how my mother abused us kids, hoping they could do something about it, and their response was always the same: “What are you talking about? Your mother is so nice!”
oh i believe it. i’ve been to several wakes where i think i must be in the wrong room due to all the sobbing.
I’ve know plenty of kids with problematic relationships. The ones where the parent was truly bad, the parent’s death went unrecognized. Indifference is the reaction. Or relief. But there will just be a death notice.
I watch local obits. I've noticed that a few times. "No service". Always wondered.
(One of my uncles was like that. No funeral after he died. Wondered at the family dynamics (he was an alcoholic, I found out later.).
Regardless, she has some major issues.
One obvious problem - too many names!
If we could write Hillary Clinton’s obituary, what would it say? 🤔
"Repent, or you will all likewise perish."
W M Thackeray
They're not even automatically people. Some are monsters.
...and determined to remain true to that self right up until their death.
If Jesus wasn’t there for her how would he remember her?
I had a pretty lousy childhood, and even at a really young age, I would call out to God to help me. Things never seemed to get better, but I still continued to call out to God. Fast forward 40 years, and I was back home visiting family. I decided to drive by the house I grew up in. As I reached the house, “Lord”, I prayed, “ I don’t hold it against you, but why didn’t you help me when I prayed to You as a child? We were so miserable!” I did not hear an audible reply, but as clear as a bell, the Lord spoke to my heart. He said, “I did help you. You don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t.”
I can’t tell you how much that comforted me. My mind flashed back to the times my mother had threatened to kill herself. That alone would have caused a cascade of events of untold disaster. God is so good! Because we all have free will, people commit sins and evil. I know it hurts God’s heart to see us suffer. But there is redemption from our suffering in Jesus. Eternity is never-ending. My and my sibling’s sufferings lasted, in the scheme of eternity, but a moment, but we will have forever to have peace and joy in the presence of the Lord. To me, that’s an awesome trade off.
I don't know: There may good reasons against this practice (of refraining from saying anything adverse against the deceased), but there are at least two obvious reasons for this practice:
1. The deceased is unable to defend himself; it is inherently unfair to attack an opponent who is unable to defend himself.
2. Subconscious superstitious belief that the deceased could somehow "avenge" himself.
Regards,
The Lord bless you!
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