Posted on 11/13/2023 1:10:36 PM PST by Navy Patriot
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — California Governor Gavin Newsom initiated a last-minute cleanup of San Francisco ahead of a visit from China's communist dictator President Xi. He assured all unhoused persons in the area that they may resume their normal practice of sidewalk defecation as soon as his boss has left town.
"Please, we need to try and keep the place clean just for a few days while my boss is here," said Newsom in a press conference surrounded by a horde of angry homeless people. "Please don't mess it up for me and President Xi. I really want to impress him. Please hold it in for a couple of days. Just clench or something. After that, you may poop to your heart's content. Thank you."
"Please," he added. "If I play my cards right, Xi may even let me become President. This is huge for me."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Everybody, and I mean everybody, should leave all their poop on the street on the sidewalks through Wednesday. Just poop in a bucket and drop it off downtown everyday.
That’s about it.
The Onion is nothing, compared with The Bee.
The Onion was printed in a time where reality didn’t exceed the humorous sarcasm levels of a tongue in cheek newspaper.
such a shame the Chinese don’t have at least a pic of an “original sidewalk steamer” in its native state to Take home. rightly framed it would be a keepsake and conversation starter for sure.
What's Newsome gonna do? Contradict his boss?
This will likely happen. The Bee is prescient.
Better yet. Borrow or rent a manure spreader. Go door to door for collections or stop by a dairy farm. After the wagon is loaded drive down the street and fling it everywhere.
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