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Newsom Assures New Phone Alert System For Black People Will Be 'Separate But Equal'
The Bee ^ | October 13, 2023 | Staff

Posted on 10/13/2023 9:48:36 AM PDT by Navy Patriot

SACRAMENTO, CA — As part of a new initiative to provide public services to minority groups in need, California Governor Gavin Newsom has promised the state's new "Ebony Alert" system for black people will be "separate but equal."

"We've designed this to separate them from the rest of the populace," Newsom said in his announcement. "While we want to have a way to send out urgent alerts to everyone when a child is in danger or abducted, we thought it would be best to keep the alerts separate based on the color of the child's skin. This new ‘Ebony Alert' system will mobilize task forces statewide to launch a search that is approximately three-fifths as strong and focused as a search for a missing white child."

Sources within the governor's office said that if things go well with the "Ebony Alert," the state will expand this initiative in other ways, such as creating separate bathrooms, water fountains, restaurant dining areas, and even schools set aside specifically for black children.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Education; History
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
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To: Navy Patriot

The lawsuits on this one is going to be fun.


21 posted on 10/13/2023 10:33:17 AM PDT by CodeToad (Arm Up! They Have!)
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To: Navy Patriot

When it comes to California, you really can’t tell if the article is from The Babylon Bee, The Sacramento Bee or The Fresno Flea. Same difference.


22 posted on 10/13/2023 10:34:47 AM PDT by San Joaquin
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To: CodeToad

In American Just Us Courts or others?


23 posted on 10/13/2023 10:35:26 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: Navy Patriot

LOL sorry, I didn’t see the Bee reference until after I hit the post button. The Bee’s satire is often too close to believable these days. The whole world has gone nuts.


24 posted on 10/13/2023 10:36:36 AM PDT by jpp113
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To: Navy Patriot

It will also offer coupons for Popeye’s


25 posted on 10/13/2023 10:37:17 AM PDT by PGR88
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To: Navy Patriot

and you...

it’s more rhetorical than anything, but i mean, WTF???


26 posted on 10/13/2023 10:41:08 AM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: Navy Patriot

How about a special hot Taco alert for missing Mexican children? Mexicans far outnumber blacks in California. This catering to blacks/ 13% of the US population is ridiculous. My people got here in 1904 and worked like slaves. We were never involved in blacks slavery.


27 posted on 10/13/2023 10:43:32 AM PDT by dennisw (Never attribute to incompetence & stupidity, that which is adequately explained by malice)
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To: Navy Patriot

“Ebony” Alert? Shouldn’t it be more like the Shaquandra alert? Or say the Shaniqua alert? How bout Obamaiqua alert?

I mean just seems more appropriate to get the message out.

Lots to choose from.....take a look:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUsNY3—npY


28 posted on 10/13/2023 10:44:11 AM PDT by vespa300
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To: vespa300

Dindu Nuffin Alert?


29 posted on 10/13/2023 10:54:10 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: Chode

I’m feeling Spok-ish, pure Logic, cannot decide...


30 posted on 10/13/2023 10:56:44 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: dennisw
Maybe a Taco Bender Alert?

Good Lord what's wrong with me, I'm never civil to you?

31 posted on 10/13/2023 10:58:57 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: gov_bean_ counter
“Oops. Didn’t realize that was the Bee, because the headline was so believable.”

I just said that to my spouse.

32 posted on 10/13/2023 11:04:34 AM PDT by daler
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To: Eva
Well, I somehow doubt that many Amber alerts were put out for Black children.

Why would you possibly say something like that?

33 posted on 10/13/2023 11:07:31 AM PDT by Irish Eyes
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To: Navy Patriot

LOL!!!

Six sends her love...


34 posted on 10/13/2023 11:10:00 AM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: Navy Patriot

They always get me to do a double take with their headlines.


35 posted on 10/13/2023 11:12:23 AM PDT by ImJustAnotherOkie
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To: Chode

Six saves me again!


36 posted on 10/13/2023 11:12:53 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: ImJustAnotherOkie
They always get me to do a double take with their headlines.

Yes, a media outlet that is honest, ... doubletake, ... yep.

37 posted on 10/13/2023 11:15:13 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: Navy Patriot

There is some keen wit in those guys.


38 posted on 10/13/2023 11:26:14 AM PDT by ImJustAnotherOkie
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To: Eva

Just for the fathers


39 posted on 10/13/2023 11:40:30 AM PDT by al baby (I know its the way the measure the cooling capability )
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To: Navy Patriot

Add Ebony drinking fountains.


40 posted on 10/13/2023 11:52:07 AM PDT by Mark (DONATE ONCE every 3 months-is that a big deal?)
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