NATO has no interest in attacking Russia.
As far as missiles go, is Ukraine really that much closer than the other NATO countries?
NATO may have no interest in attacking Russia, and maybe it was a defensive move, but it was still apparently too close for comfort in Russia’s eyes. Shortens the time in which their capital can be obliterated.
As for the second question, are you kidding?
The particulars are not important. The negotiator will soon discover which issues are most important to each side. The two sides have to be pressured into it soon, because things are getting out of control.
China was trying to get them to talk at one point. Also, it came out yesterday that there has been at least one talk between the U.S. national security officials and Lavrov while Lavrov was in town for a meeting of the UN Security Council. So people are trying.