What the world needs now is a gay James Bond [Satire]

American Thinker ^ | 07/07/2023 | Clark Wren

[SeekAndFind]

Since opposing power in our modern times is futile, we must adapt to the demands it makes on us. This is especially true of the long running character in the fictional James Bond series.

“Oh, the things I do for England,” Sean Connery once said in You Only Live Twice.

Long gone are the days of carefree innocence and naiveté when we would watch a movie as a child or a teenager and think it wasn’t propaganda. It just reflected what human beings are. Sadly, or perhaps wonderfully, as we grow up, our experiences change how we see the world. Some of the old movies we watched in our youth still give us a thrill, but most of what we enjoyed back in the days of carefree innocence and naiveté seem dated and even a little bit silly.

The original James Bond movies, starring Sean Connery, are now seen as being wickedly toxic. They ooze with what we now know is toxic masculinity. Plus, the original James Bond was only attracted to women. “Why can’t he be more flexible with his sexuality?” a modern film critic might say superciliously. “At least, make him bisexual rather than boring and toxic hetero.”

[Tell It Right]

The phrase “shaken not stirred” will become a S&M reference.

[AndyJackson]

Exactly, toxic masculinity packaged in a deceptive cover of conventional and now gone by the boards antiquated standards of western white male good looks, personal competence, and understated British charm and subtle humor.

Everything to hate....[/s]

[Tupelo]

Sean Connery is, was and always will be James Bond. The rest were/are not worth the price of admission. Even on free TV.

[MinorityRepublican]

James Bond is dead.

Maybe we can do a reboot in 20 years. But only after Hollywood is done being woke.

[JBW1949]

Exactly!!!!!!

Very well said!!!!

[Delta 21]

Just go ahead and ruin every damned thing worth holding dear.

{SPIT!}

[JBW1949]

I read the books before I saw the movies...

Sean Connery EXACTLY fit the image I had of Bond when reading the books...

[ThePatriotsFlag]

Well, to cover all the bases, “it” needs to be a black, lesbian, trans-woman with a hatred of the UK and the USA. Shouldn’t be too difficult to find today.

[null and void]

Gay? That’s soooooo last weak. Trans!

[null and void]

No wheelchair?

[Bounced2X]

No thanks.

[T. Rustin Noone]

or “Shaven, not furred”?

[wally_bert]

One can hope that Danger man aka Secret Agent will be left alone.

[OHPatriot]

We need a Tranny James (Jamie) Bond. Packing 44EEs and a fabulous wardrobe of “Tuck Friendly” evening wear. /Sarc

[coalminersson]

for me it was timothy dalton more serious and ruthless.

[mowowie]

Yea I liked him too.
So underrated..

[ThePatriotsFlag]

yeah, darn, forgot the wheelchair.