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Petty Woman: Meghan Markle Waves Goodbye To Her Rom-Com Dreams
Federalist, ^ | JULY 03, 2023 | Peachy Keenan

Posted on 07/05/2023 3:09:48 PM PDT by george76

The latest chapter in the Meghan character arc is about the content she and hapless Harry are trying to pitch to their paymasters in Beverly Hills.

Not all fairy tales have happy endings, and for Princess Meghan the clock just chimed midnight and the spell has been broken. The coach is turning back into a pumpkin as we speak.

As a longtime Royal Family watcher, I admit to feeling shameless glee as I read the recent stories of Meghan and Harry striking out in Hollywood. It’s always fun to watch dire low-stakes predictions come true. Like many of you, I was appalled at the disrespect Meghan showed to her in-laws. Instead of respecting the Queen, Meghan, incredibly, seemed to be trying to compete with the Queen. She thought she was playing a game of “Survivor,” but she was the only one on the island who didn’t know how to make a fire.

A Long Way Down for the Duchess..

For those not keeping track, Meghan and her nitwit ginger sidekick have been dropped by Spotify, reportedly losing half of the $50 million promised. She got $25 million for a measly 12 hours of a middling podcast featuring the richest and most famous women in the world complaining about how hard their lives are. Netflix is reportedly about to cut their $100 million deal short. They finished milking them dry of low-hanging tabloid family gossip, and just found out they have no Act 2.

Nothing is working out the way she dreamed it would. Meghan’s imagined billionaire lifestyle is turning into a mirage. Why? Because for some hilarious reason, the creative bigwigs in Hollywood believed Meghan when she promised that her and Harry would be able to provide oodles of monetizable entertainment content.

I mean, yes, I am quite entertained by the spectacle, but schadenfreude is tough to monetize.

Meghan In Her Flop Era..

Meghan’s predicament tells you everything about the people who run Hollywood. Imagine thinking that these two “f*cking grifters,” in the words of the Spotify exec who had to say no to Harry’s harebrained podcast ideas, would be a rich source of high-quality entertainment!

I can’t help wondering how a D-list golddigger convinced these studio heads that her and the ginger mouth breather would somehow provide $150 million worth of streaming content. It turns out that they’re only good at providing piles of steaming content, if you know what I mean.

I suppose it’s true, as movie producer Jackie Trehorn tells the Dude in “The Big Lebowski,” standards have fallen in entertainment. Since the Sussexes first ditched their careers as legit royalty and started groping for ephemeral Hollywood royalty, my fellow Meghan hobbyists and I have enjoyed a goldmine of unintentional comedy. She’s the Benny Hill of pampered Montecito trophy wives, always running downhill chased by imaginary paparazzi.

She’s been a source of delight since the early days when she was using a Sharpie to write inspirational messages on bananas to street prostitutes in England. “You are brave.” “You are loved.” Then the cringe-worthy trek through the thousand micro-aggressions she endured at the hands of her sister-in-law Catherine. Did she not realize everyone saw it for what it was: pure jealousy?

But now we come to the era of Meghan Markle, entertainment content creator. The latest chapter in the Meghan character arc is about the content she and hapless Harry are trying to pitch to their paymasters in Beverly Hills. It was clear that her long slide back into C-list obscurity had begun when I read an incredible tidbit in the trades earlier this year. Meghan was talking about her new content ideas she was working on for her “media production company.” See, it’s already funny!

Meghan gushed to a Variety reporter: “For scripted, we want to think about how we can evolve from that same space and do something fun! It doesn’t always have to be so serious. Like a good rom-com. Don’t we miss them? I miss them so much. I’ve probably watched ‘When Harry Met Sally’ a million times. And all the Julia Roberts rom-coms. We need to see those again.”

We do? Rom-coms? I mean, yeah, it would be wonderful to have good movies again, of any genre. But with Meghan in charge, imagine the scripts she would commission. “When Harry Met Meghan, the Oppressed and Suicidal Actress.” “How to Lose a Prince in 10 Days.” “10 Things I Hate About Kate.” “The Meghan Markle Story, Starring Meghan Markle.”

That last one’s more of a tragicomedy than a rom-com, sorry. But I understand why she wants to make Julia Roberts-style romantic comedies. After all, just a few years ago, she was lurking on Hollywood Boulevard auditioning for her big break when a prince in an Aston Martin cruised by and whisked her away to his palace. She has lived a real-life Cinderella story. Only this one may not have quite the same ending.

As Jeremy Zimmer, the CEO of United Talent Agency, one of the largest Hollywood talent agencies dished during Cannes to every reporter within earshot: “It turns out that Meghan Markle wasn’t a great audio talent, or necessarily has some kind of talent. And you know, just because you’re famous doesn’t mean you’re good at something.”

Ouch. I wonder if Jeremy Zimmer has seen the latest desperate pitch Meghan made to Netflix; a girlboss rom-com called “Bad Manners” starring … Miss Havisham. The show is “a prequel to Charles Dickens’s 1861 novel Great Expectations which will focus on the character Miss Havisham… [the show] aims to shine a feminist light on the spinster, showing her as a ‘strong woman living in a patriarchal society.’”

Who says comedy is dead? Sign me up for this one!

The article ends with the ominous “it is unclear whether the show will get a green light from Netflix.”

Meghan is learning, finally, the hardest lesson of all: real royalty may be hereditary, but Hollywood royalty has to be earned. Popularity matters. Likeability, in the end, is the only currency that matters if you wear no crown.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: harry; markle; meghan; meghanmarkle; notaprincess; peachykeenan; pic; princeharry
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To: dfwgator

I’ve been watching Suits out of curiosity. Not a bad show. Took me a while to figure out which character Meghan played.


21 posted on 07/05/2023 3:37:25 PM PDT by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
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To: george76

Parody Whitney has done a nice parody of “Petty (Pretty) Woman” ripping MeAgain on YouTube


22 posted on 07/05/2023 3:39:09 PM PDT by bigbob (Q)
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To: george76

Ouch!

I am really happy Kate and William are rid of these two.


23 posted on 07/05/2023 3:40:10 PM PDT by Guenevere (“If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?”)
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To: vetvetdoug

Yeah, you could see that on the Queen’s face when the black choir “let it rip”.


24 posted on 07/05/2023 3:47:45 PM PDT by ThePatriotsFlag (When Ashli Babbitt’s video-taped murderer Michael Byrd is indicted, I’ll start paying attention.)
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To: george76
She shouldn't give up on her CosCon dreams. A career paying in the high hundreds of hundreds in fast food awaits her.


25 posted on 07/05/2023 3:48:53 PM PDT by Sirius Lee (They intend to murder us. Prep if you want to live and live like you are prepping for eternal life)
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To: nickcarraway

She’s not married to a pathetic whining bastard with Mommy issues. She IS beautiful and behaves with some dignity - perhaps controlled by the palace, but a vastly better image and role model than...MeMeMeMeghan!

The whining half-white bitch trying to place the race card is disgusting. Almost anyone looks better in comparison.


26 posted on 07/05/2023 3:51:46 PM PDT by Mr Rogers (We're a nation of feelings, not thoughts.)
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To: george76

Wallis Simpson had 1000 times the class of ME-ghan.


27 posted on 07/05/2023 3:53:49 PM PDT by HandBasketHell
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To: george76

Meghan could have become a wildly popular member of the Royal family. Playing her cards right. Maybe show some respect to the Queen. Get some manners and style pointers from Kate. Play up a lot of charity work. Play the game. Sure, she would always be second fiddle, but the Brits would have adored her. And second fiddle in the palace far outshines some crappy sitcom job.

But no. She had to make up stupid lies like the one about people in the palace asking what color their kids would be. An obvious tale. Sure, she and numbnutz have millions. But to someone like her fame and,adulation are far more important. I see an OD in her future, the grasping harlot.


28 posted on 07/05/2023 3:54:21 PM PDT by Seruzawa ("The Political left is the Garden of Eden of incompetence" - Marx the Smarter (Groucho))
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To: Mr Rogers

If that’s what the media tells you.


29 posted on 07/05/2023 3:56:27 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

She and Harry are a Rom com. Or maybe a tragi com.


30 posted on 07/05/2023 3:57:17 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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To: george76

“We are going on every news channel, every daytime talk circuit, every podcast, every magazine, every media company, to tell us we just want to be left alone and live a quiet humble life out of the lime light.”


31 posted on 07/05/2023 4:01:52 PM PDT by Organic Panic (Democrats. Memories as short as Joe Biden's eyes)
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To: george76
Ouch! And they didn't even mention Meg's failed negotiations with the fashion house Dior... Except apparently... There were none according to the company... "Dior is not in contract talks with Meghan Markle. A Dior spokesman said the speculation is unfounded"

Meg and Harry must have been negotiating with Dior in their heads, before they actually negotiated in person.

The only reason why she truly wanted to get out of England was because of their horrid weather... When it gets to 20 Celsius there, the Brits complain about the heat and it's hard to maintain that half*ss tan of hers when the sun only shines about 3 or 4 weeks a year. If she had stayed in England instead of being 'mostly' white, she'd be completely white by now.

32 posted on 07/05/2023 4:02:22 PM PDT by jerod (Nazi's were essentially Socialist in Hugo Boss uniforms... Get over it!)
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To: Sirius Lee

Dang

That is awesome

😂😀🤣


33 posted on 07/05/2023 4:04:05 PM PDT by SaveFerris (Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold ......)
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To: dfwgator

She could do:

Privacy Tour: The Musical

I’m ©️ copywriting that!!

Hope it wasn’t done yet


34 posted on 07/05/2023 4:06:18 PM PDT by SaveFerris (Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold ......)
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To: nickcarraway

That’s what is pretty obvious. Anyone with 1/4 of a brain knew Markle would be a disaster before the marriage. She’s a low IQ, high Maintenance race-bating bitch.

ANYONE would have to work to be below Markle as a person! A lot of Hollywood types probably manage, but she’s...a special case of arrogant stupidity.


35 posted on 07/05/2023 4:08:45 PM PDT by Mr Rogers (We're a nation of feelings, not thoughts.)
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To: george76

If I got a “measly” $25 Million, I’d be set for the rest of my life, as would my kids.

Pay off all my bills. Buy land, then more land. Set up trust fund.

Probably all within 48-72 hours.


36 posted on 07/05/2023 4:10:32 PM PDT by Alas Babylon! (Repeal the Patriot Act; Abolish the DHS; reform FBI top to bottom!)
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To: Mr Rogers
Actually, before she got married no one knew she was black, and she never mentioned it.

You give a pass to the arrogant, inbred, low IQ, Muslim family she married into?

37 posted on 07/05/2023 4:10:32 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

“...the arrogant, inbred, low IQ, Muslim family she married into?...”

Please show proof that the UK Royal family is Muslim....


38 posted on 07/05/2023 4:27:00 PM PDT by JBW1949 (I'm really PC.....Patriotically Correct)
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To: JBW1949

The whole family isn’t, but there were many threads about how Prince Charles is, and they mention William as well. And Princess Diana was converting before she died. She was marrying a Muslim man.


39 posted on 07/05/2023 4:28:40 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

Princess Diana marrying a Muslim man would have been the ultimate middle finger to the Royals.


40 posted on 07/05/2023 4:30:26 PM PDT by IndyTiger
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