Prayers up for your son’s soul and for you to find peace of mind.
I will most definitely pray for you. Unfortunately, I can somewhat understand what you are feeling. My husband did the same thing on 5-2-22 and much of what you describe sounds like my circumstances. It has been hard, but I am surviving and even flourishing.
My God give you an abundant amount of His Grace. Keep crying out to God and He will definitely answer. I know this from experience.
Thank you, everyone, for the prayers. It’s still like a knife in my heart every time it hits me. I doubt I’ll ever be the same and my heart will be broken forever. I’m definitely going to seek counseling to find a way to deal with this, and I’ll continue to seek solace in Our Lord and the Blessed Virgin, who was also a mother who knows the monstrous pain of losing a son. 💔