Posted on 06/16/2023 3:21:14 PM PDT by ConservativeInPA
It’s Friday and folks need some comic relief. Tell a joke or two and chitchat a bit.
now this one was funny caught me off guard .. hat tip ....
I’m not going to ‘stick’ around and find out.
What do you call a bunch of prostitutes growing vegetables?
Garden hoes.
What did Santa do when he landed in the red light district?
He pointed and said “Hoe, Hoe, Hoe....”
so you think I should
stick
a fork in it and be done?
This is not a joke, but it is funny, and true.
I worked at a large grocery store for many, many moons. For a time I was the closing supervisor 3pm-12 midnight. The large end displays are usually for items on special. We would also put other items one might buy along with the special sale item.
For example, if barbecue charcoal briquettes are on sale at a low price, most of the end display is charcoal. We would put lighter fluid (regular price) around the briquettes.
Well.....one night the boss asked me to construct several displays, including a large end display of toilet paper. So.....what do you think would go along, tie in with the special priced TP? The TP end display looks like a battleship; large items all stacked together. I had to find something that would be somehow related to the TP. When I decided what to stack around the perimeter of the TP display, my coworkers stated I could not use it. I responded that all the other bosses and supervisors had left for the day; I was in charge. So, I placed boxes and boxes, bottles and bottles of.... Prune Juice.
The next day, I arrive at work a little early. The main boss calls me up to his office, and is laughing out loud, almost holding his side from laughing so hard. While laughing, he says “How the #&*@ could you build a display like that?”. I laughed, and stated “boss, half of the prune juice is gone, sold!”
The uncertainty principle of quantum mechanics says that you can know the position or the momentum of a particle but never both.
When a scuba diver enters the water from a boat, why do they always go off back first?
If they went front first they’d flop into the boat, silly!
How does santa get his reindeer to fly?
he pokes em .. with a stick
ya I got nothin ...
Are you sure Hillary didn’t say, “Michelle, is that you? With a stick.”
The golf course manager tells me I
can’t use my Big Bertha driver on this course.
So, when he wasn’t looking I broke
a blade off the windmill.
I married my wife for her looks.
But not the ones she’s been giving me lately.
I heard that Whoopi Goldberg wants to host wheel of fortune.
They’re going to use the wheel in her mobility scooter.
“throw a stick.”
ALL RIGHT .....
a stick joke .... SLAM that thang baby
glue it on tight and make it ... stick
A woman walks into a pet shop and sees a frog in a container with a sign that says sex frog. So she gets curious and asks the store owner “what is this?”
He says “well this frog will make wild passionate love to you!”
So she buys him and takes him home and a little while later she calls the store owner and says “this frog isn’t doing anything!”
So the guy asks “did you follow the instructions?”
“Yes”
“did you put on sexy lingerie yes are you lying down on your bed”
“yes”
“OK wait I’ll be right over”
So he comes over, starts taking off his clothes, looks at the frog, and says “OK, now I’m only gonna show you this one more time...”
Or Whore-ticulturists
The inventor of the USB stick has died.
“At his funeral they gently lowered the coffin, then pulled it back up, turned it the other way, then lowered it again.”
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
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