In fact, my wife almost kept me from attending our wedding. She was afraid I'd ruin her big day by making a sarcastic remark at the reception about my new in-laws or not saying the vows correctly.
I came thisclose to having my younger brother stand-in as groom for my new wife as he was a bit sharper looking and knew when to keep his mouth shut..
She likely would have let me sneak into the bridal suite with her later that night but she really didn't want me at the ceremony as she feared I'd muck it up somehow.
Fortunately I didn't or at least I didn't think I screwed up that day. Except when I went to feed her the cake, I dropped the slice to the floor. Fortunately, I had the common sense to cut another slice out of the cake as opposed to picking the slice off the floor and trying to feed it to her anyway. The three second rule was definitely violated.
Couldn’t she gotten married to you using a proxy, so you wouldn’t have to be there?
My wife cousin’s bride tried to smash the cake in her matron of honor’s face as a twist on the old prank between the bride and groom. Unfortunately for her, the matron of honor caught her hand on the way toward her, flipped the bride on the floor and mopped her back and forth on the floor in the cake mess. It was a pretty stunning scene.
Note to brides: Don’t try pranks on people that outweigh you by 100 pounds or so. It won’t end well.