DEAR JANE: I won't let my bridesmaid bring her autistic son to my wedding because he's going to RUIN my big day - now she says I'm being a bridezilla and is refusing to attend

UK Daily Mail ^ | Dear Jane

[DallasBiff]

Dear Jane,

I feel like an awful person for saying this but, I don't want my bridesmaid's autistic son to come to my wedding because I'm panicking that he's going to ruin what is meant to be my special, once-in-a-lifetime day

Dear Bewildered Bride,

Huge congratulations to you on your wedding, which I imagine you may have dreamed about for a long time. Of course you want it to be a perfect day and I am sorry you find yourself in what feels like an impossible situation. Any of us who know people raising children with autism know how very challenging it can be.

We also know that children with autism often get overwhelmed by new situations, new people, over-stimulation, and crowds. In fact, an occasion like a wedding would seem to be something that is likely to prove very problematic. International best-selling author offers sage advice on DailyMail.com readers' most burning issues in her weekly Dear Jane agony aunt column

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I think there are two options here, given that I don't know the finer details. You have already said that you can't accommodate him, which isn't leading to the result you want. Your first option is to keep this boundary firm, for it is supposed to be the one day of the year where you get to dictate what you want

[napscoordinator]

Typically I could see your point. But not a wedding. Babysitter or if the brat has to go, assign two people to keep him occupied during the ceremony. Unless I’m in the wedding, I’d gladly sit it out to watch the kid until reception.

[bgill]

Dear groom,

RUN!!!!!!

Signed, The Entire Universe

[FamiliarFace]

I think I would normally be sympathetic to the mom, but when she called her friend a bridezilla, my opinion changed quickly. This is not a bridezilla thing. LOTS of weddings have no children, or only children of a certain age. This is not an unusual request.

[CommerceComet]

What is the groom’s take or did she ask ? 😂

I would guess that she did after she had made it abundantly clear precisely what his take had better be.

[Getready]

Great literature isn’t always fact by fact. So it has value, but more like an exercise in “what ifs”. Some like to figure out crossword puzzles....some figure out social conundrums..most likely contrived...

[A_perfect_lady]

The wedding is this summer and they decided early on not to allow children, and she feels her friend has had "ample time" to make arrangements for childcare. The friend is asking repeatedly for permission to bring the child who is known to be disruptive at major events.

That "friend" is probably one of those women who secretly enjoy letting their child run amok and draw all attention to him (and by proxy, to her.) Some women weaponize their kids on purpose.

[teeman8r]

if there was an invitation sent to him, he’s coming, but if the bride is as shallow as that... she deserves to stand alone at the altar... in love with herself.

even the minister would not attend...