If people really could create their own identities, they wouldn't be so violently opposed to free speech that may disagree with them. They would be confident in their identities, thinking that "I am secure in who I am despite your opposing opinion." (ergo, "you are welcome to voice your opinion even though I disagree").
It is the fragility of "self-creation" that leads to the silly demands that other people must use one's chosen pronouns.
As has been said, you cannot hold back the tide (nor can you win a fight with reality).
In 1921, Hitler had his Sturmabteilung ("Storm Detachment" or "SA") assault Otto Ballerstedt, leader of the Bavarian League which was a federalist organization, and was arrested for it.
When he was arrested, he said to the police (as quoted from William Shirer's book):
"It's alright" Hitler boasted to the police, "We got what we wanted. Ballerstedt did not speak." As Hitler had told an audience some months before: "The National Socialist movement will, in the future, ruthlessly prevent, if necessary by force, all meetings or lectures that are likely to distract the minds of our fellow countrymen."
In looking at that account, it is easy to see the parallel between the National Socialists under Hitler and the Democrat Party as part of the Left today with their own "Storm Detachment" called Antifa and BLM.
The Left at all levels delights in trying to paint Conservatives as the Modern Day Nazis, but last I heard, we weren't the ones beating up people for speaking, or agitating to prevent them from speaking, and most certainly not as a part of codified policy or strategy as it is for them.