Replies

Thank you both.

I don’t even know if the house fire insurance will be honored as it seems he listed himself as the policy owner.
It was MY house and I gave him a place to live free when he lost his house 10 years before I married him.

I am just curb stomped now.

He cancelled my beneficiary protection without telling me years ago.
Surprise.

No benefits left at all.

Why would he say he loved me and then destroy me like this?

OMG.

I’m beaten utterly.

I was just a free ride and caretaker , it seems.

I have found his DDR and discharge papers, our wedding license and his SS number.
So far I’ve not been able to get anyone at social services or SS to answer the phone.
Tried to get a duplicate driver’s license online because mine melted in the fire but the fact that he’s on vehicle titles shot that down.
No idea how to get him off of them.
Didn’t have money to bury him so the er people suggested science donation and did but then they called and said the living can’t donate the dead, the dead one had to have made arrangements themselves.
They told me to contact Rocky Gap veterans cemetery and I did.
Sent them photo of his discharge papers.
He’s in Baltimore at the Body Board place and I have to call them back Monday to see if he can be a special exception, or if they’ll cremate him or what.
Otherwise I have to pay for that and drive a long way to pick him up in a car that was t boned and leaks vital fluids now.

I can’t go to an ER because I have NO health insurance now.
He cancelled the payments from his state check that provided protection of any benefits for me after his death back in 2009 or so and didn’t tell me.

I can’t get medical care until I somehow get Medicaid or whatever.

No idea how long that’ll take and cannot be racking up any bills as I’m having to pay bills he owes now.

My dad bought this house for me in 1989 so I would never be homeless and kept it in his name but after he passed, hubby connived my mom and me into putting him on the deed too, so my dads plan to protect me was foiled.

He never got around to making a will, despite my mom constantly offering to pay a lawyer to have it done.

This is why I’m in panic mode.

Everything that was mine became his as well, by default of the deed and I might lose the house twice, first to the fire, then to probate.

I’m having a very hard time reckoning with the fact that the person I sheltered and took care of for 30 years and countless health issues, did not return the favor by making any plans for me if he died.

I am overwhelmed by all of it and am having a hard time keeping everything straight as so much info is overloading me.

Plus, I hurt badly that I was ultimately cared for so little.

Half my life was thrown away for this nightmare.

I don’t know how how process the grief of his death alongside the discovery that he intentionally stopped all the benefits I could have continued to receive.

I’m hoping my own heart issues right now are just anxiety.