“I Didn’t See Your Call”
That’s not a lie. I’m not tethered to my phone.
“Are you even listening to me?”
“Yeah, absolutely- pffft- of course- why wouldn’t i?”
Screaming at the top of her lungs “I’m not upset”!
I’m surprised “No, it doesn’t make you look fat.” or “... make you butt look big.” is on the list.
9. I’m worried about the planet.
10. You’re really a great driver!
11. I’m fine if your parents come on our second honeymoon.
12. I’ve never met anyone like you before.
13. I agree. Deoderant is for the birds!
There are only five "lies" listed.
Trust - but don’t be a fool either.
1.) I love you.
2.) The check is in the mail.
3.) . . .
Me luv you always
No. That dress does not make you look fat.
A few years ago my wife caught me gawking at a beautiful gal and she let me have it it but good. But when she was done threatening to cut my privates of when I fell asleep I just looked at her with an adoring look and said: “Darling, if I didn’t have an appreciation for beautiful women how could possibly explain my adoration of you?” I did not fall asleep for a week.
Does this make me look fat?
Don’t ever answer
How about “I don’t wanna be here”...while you’re driving 85 mph along the Interstate.
Three biggest lies in Texas:
1. I won this belt buckle at the rodeo.
2. My pickup’s paid for
3. I was only helping that sheep over the fence.
My brother-in-law told me one time that his wife wouldn’t let him wear sunglasses to the beach. He finally convinced her that he had to wear sunglasses, of course you do, UV is bad for your eyes which is true.
Then he told me “I’m working on the binoculars issue now.”
A friend from church told me his wife got on this case when they went to the beach because he was looking around(???) she said he didn’t need to be looking at all these women, and she would get totally pissed off.
I told him to tell your wife “we’re not going to the beach anymore and if I can’t look at anything at the beach without you getting ticked off you’re insane... because there’s more meat on display at the beach than at the butcher section of Costco.”
“No, really, I’m fine.”
“I love you just the way you are”
In muslim relationships:
1. I won’t flog you more than once a day.
2. The goat is only for milk.
3. Is that a bomb under there or are you just glad to see me?
“It’s not you, dear. It’s me.”