I lived under one for 2 decades. Never again.
We have one but it’s pretty low key...basically exists to keep the street lights going and maintain the landscaping at the entrance. I bought a small farm property about 90 minute drive from that house and spend 70% of my time there. Built a practice shooting range and shop building and no freaking building codes or neighbors that complain...paradise!
I have never lived in an HOA development and have never lived in a condo, and never will.
I live in a 55+ gated community on a golf course, HOA is a necessity for the 24/7 guards at the gate, upkeep of the golf course and waterways throughout the community, landscaping year round, being in a 55+ community is far different than having a family with kids under an HOA, as you get older landscaping and such becomes more difficult!! Our HOA is very mellow BECAUSE they are seniors also and as you get older you tend not to sweat the small stuff OR have the energy to be a busy body!! When I was younger I would NEVER have considered living under an HOA!!
My aunt & uncle built a home on 2.5 acres in 1959 in Rancho Palos Verdes near Los Angeles. It did not have a HOA at the time. My uncle told me back around 2000 that a lady came on the property and looked around then knocked on their door and told them they had to clean up the yard.... she left and they never saw her again. The property is on a hill and cannot be see from the road below. The two neighbors you can barely see any portion of their home at all and vice versa due to the trees and brush and hill.
My relatives ignored the lady.
The HOA held up the addition my relatives had done. It was a concrete pad that was their porch out back that they want to enclose with 2 walls, windows and sliding doors. Someone decided they did not like the windows even though they could not see them and held up the process. To put up the 2 walls and and such is a quick job but the HOA made it more expensive and 6 months longer.