[DUMBGRUNT]

The Fat Man’s Prayer By: Victor Buono
https://youtu.be/x9Fdjeh6zMA

THE FAT MAN’S PRAYER

Lord, my soul is ripped with riot,

Incited by my wicked diet.

“You are what you eat,” said a wise old man.

Lord, if that’s true, I’m a garbage can!

I want to rise on judgment day, that’s plain;

But at my present weight, I’ll need a

crane.

So grant me strength that I may not fall

Into the clutches of cholesterol.

May my flesh with carrot curls be cated

That my soul may be polyunsaturated.

And show me the light that I may bear wit- ness

To the President’s Council on Physical Fitness.

At oleomargarine, I’ll never mutter,

For the road to hell is paved with butter.

And cream is cursed, and cake is awful,

And Satan is hiding in every waffle.

Mephistopheles lurks in provolone,

And the devil is in every slice of bologna.

Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,

And Lucifer is a lollypop.

Give me this day my daily slice,

But cut it thin and toast it twice.

And, Lord, I pray with folded pinkies,

Deliver me from Hostess Twinkies.

And when my time of trial is done

And my war with malted milks is won,

Let me stand with the saints in heaven

In a shining robe size thirty-seven.

I can do it, Lord, if you show me

The virtues of lettuce and celery;

If you’ll teach me the evil of mayonnaise,

The sinfulness of hollandaise,

And potatoes a la Lyonnaise,

And pasta a la Milanaise,

And crisp fried chicken from the South

Lord, if you love me, SHUT MY MOUTH!

[NetAddicted]

Hee hee hee

[Red Badger]

LOL!.................

Victor Buono was once asked why he always played the ‘heavy’ (bad guy) roles in movies and his answer was perfect: They always get the best lines!...........And he was correct!............