Thank you, sorry for your loss too. I’m at acceptance phase, have good days and bad days but hanging in there. God has prepared me for this, unbeknownst to me this past 3yearsI didn’t see it then but I do now. God nudged me to retire at 59 vs. 62. Two months he told me to retire, I did and so glad that I had the last 3 years with him. I’m grateful he didn’t get in the car out of the store and drive and die, killing someone else. I’m glad he didn’t die here in front of me, or when I wasn’t here and come home and find him. I’m grateful he is no longer suffering with severe back pain, not sleeping *he slept in a lazy boy for last two years due to rib and back pain. He also had 60 skin cancer surgeries over last 3 years, almost died from hypercalcemia, etc.
Day after he died, he showed up as a deer on our street (we live in the city) and it just stood in front of our house looking at me then ran). That same day heading to funeral home, goose came out of weeds and stood on the street and just looked at me. He was a big deer and goose hunter. He was telling me, I;m ok— a last goodbye. I find comfort in those two things, that had to be him.
Sounds like you are handling it the best you can. It is hard to be suddenly alone and dealing with all that goes with it including the grief.
Your story about the deer and the goose was quite similar to something that touched me like that.