[grey_whiskers]

Women are falling into the bad patterns you describe because many men have not been trained on leadership—so most women drift into the default mode you described.

They don't drift -- they are actively stampeded into it by mass culture; and the teaching is reinforced by the constant male attention on online dating sites and apps.

[cgbg]

There are two kinds of people in the world:

1. These folks identify every issue and obstacle.

2. These folks figure out ways to overcome them.

Where I worked we had group 1 in the early meetings to make sure we fully understood all the challenges.

Then we kicked group 1 out of the room so we could come up with solutions that “violated all the rules” and worked in the real world.

The group 1 folks always thought we were magicians—since we did the “impossible” every day.

Real men do that—every day.