The Hidden Costs of Living Alone

The Atlantic ^ | October 20, 2021 | Joe Pinsker

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

If you were to look under the roofs of American homes at random, it wouldn’t take long to find someone who lives alone. By the Census Bureau’s latest count, there are about 36 million solo dwellers, and together they make up 28 percent of U.S. households.

Even though this percentage has been climbing steadily for decades, these people are still living in a society that is tilted against them. In the domains of work, housing, shopping, and health care, much of American life is a little—and in some cases, a lot—easier if you have a partner or live with family members or housemates. The number of people who are inconvenienced by that fact grows every year.

Those who live alone, to be clear, are not lonely and miserable. Research indicates that, young or old, single people are more social than their partnered peers. Bella DePaulo, the author of How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century, reeled off to me some of the pleasures of having your own space: “the privacy, the freedom to arrange your life and your space just the way you want it—you get to decide when to sleep, when to get up, what you eat, when you eat, what you watch on Netflix, how you set the thermostat.”

The difficulties of living alone tend to lie more on a societal level, outside the realm of personal decision making. For one thing, having a partner makes big and small expenditures much more affordable, whether it’s a down payment on a house, rent, day care, utility bills, or other overhead costs of daily life. One recent study estimated that, for a couple, living separately is about 28 percent more expensive than living together.

[EEGator]

You always win but you always lose.
Luckily one can let it go…
:)

[Silentgypsy]

Not only do they know what you’re saying, they sometimes even know what you’re thinking.

[BRL]

On paper, living with someone else is cheaper. And it is, only if both are full responsible. If you are living with a moocher it is much more expensive to live together.

[Silentgypsy]

Lol! My husband used to try to cover for that by saying that women’s voices are so melodious that men get lost in all the beauty and lose track of what they’re saying.

[EEGator]

I’m stealing that!…
:)

[meowmeow]

Agree. If I die “old and alone,” it’s because I outlived everyone I love and care for. There is nothing tragic about being the last one standing...at that point I’ll just ride it out to the end, knowing everyone is waiting on the other side.

[suthener]

“I talk to myself too much…”

I live by myself. I talk to the dog, mostly about politics. She tries to appear interested, but sometimes I really wonder if she even knows what I’m saying.

[EEGator]

A dog is probably better than the ether.

[kosciusko51]

You’re in good company. I onced passed Richard Feynman when he was talking to himself.

[EEGator]

I’m short on a Nobel Prize…

I did read Six Easy Pieces.

[rlmorel]

You, know, I have regretted doing that my entire life. Granted, it is a small thing, but it was totally out of my character (though the goings-on today sure do make me want to kick the equivalent of a metal locker)

That guy Bowers was kind of an innocuous, friendly guy. He wasn't trying to do what he did, heck, he couldn't help it. I just lost my temper because I could not sleep.

Heh, my point was, I could CLEARLY understand how a spouse might be driven to distraction, even in a violent way, by snoring that made her sleep deprived. I knew a woman who was married to a man who snored so loudly that he slept in the attic and she in the basement, but she could still hear his snoring through the heating ductwork in the house!

There was a movie out once, a black comedy called "War Of The Roses", and when I watched it, I didn't enjoy it because as you get older, you realize that people do indeed do crazy things when relationships go on the rocks. I have found that enmity between people who once loved each other to be one of the saddest and most painful things in life to witness.

But there was one scene in that movie that still makes me grin-as they sleep in bed, Kathleen Turner's character gently spooning the snoring Michael Douglas character, you can see her looking at her loudly snoring spouse, and the look on her face seems far and distant, as if she were remembering a time when they didn't hate each other quite so much.

Then suddenly, in an abrupt movement, buries her middle and index finger into the snoring nostrils of her mate!

[sergeantdave]

When living alone, you have the time to answer the age-old question: how many cats can sit on a keyboard?

[suthener]

“$550 per month? Astounds me.”

Not to one up anybody, but I have 950 square foot brick house on 1.25 acres I bought for $55,000 about 5 years ago after a divorce. My payment is $398 including taxes and insurance. The house was in move in condition; no damage, everything worked, etc.

[Silentgypsy]

It’s something to look forward to.

[sit-rep]

And I’d do it again 100 times over!! Even if I had the money I never put myself on the hook for 400k just to keep up with the Joneses!! Never!!

[Silentgypsy]

That is terrific. Do you have a long commute?

[Vaduz]

Nor so sure think Biden

[Vaduz]

Its how to get expert answers

[Vaduz]

Spot on overhead is not good business.

[suthener]

“Do you have a long commute?”

I’m retired now but when I worked it was 22 minute drive to my downtown office.