This is the Central Scrutinizer...
It is my responsibility to enforce all the laws
That haven’t been passed yet
It is also my responsibility to alert each and every one of you
To the potential consequences
Of various ordinary everyday activities
You might be performing which could eventually lead to
The death penalty - or affect your parents’ credit rating...
Our criminal institutions are full of little creeps like you
Who do wrong things
And many of them were driven to these crimes
By a horrible force called MUSIC!
This time, we’re giving you a donut.
Next time, however...