Posted on 09/03/2022 4:46:21 AM PDT by karpov
DEAR ABBY: Our daughter and her cousin are the same age. Both are medical school graduates. Eight months ago, when this cousin got married at an in-person wedding, he was showered with gifts from the family. My daughter, in contrast, had a private ceremony because of COVID concerns and sent a wedding announcement to the family. To the shock and amazement of my husband, my daughter and myself, not a single person in the family thought to send her a gift or even a card.
There’s no bad blood in the family. Everyone appears to love her. She is disappointed and devastated. Should I just get over this, or should I say something to the family? She and her husband live 2,000 miles away, and at this point, I can’t envision them making the effort to fly home and see the family ever again. — BAFFLED IN TEXAS
DEAR BAFFLED: I don’t think anyone intended to give your daughter short shrift. The rules of etiquette state that wedding gifts are required if someone is attending a wedding. While it would have been nice of these relatives to have sent a gift or at least a card, they were not required to. I see no reason why you shouldn’t inform these relatives that your daughter was deeply hurt that no one was inclined to send her and her husband so much as a congratulatory card.
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She had Covid concerns. So everybody felt she might have covid concerns about the gifts and cards also. So they didn’t send her anything.
Maybe the daughter had seen some pts die badly from Covid (and other comorbidities) and didn’t want to be part of a “super spreader” event. Everybody is gonna do what they think is best, despite the consequences. Step right up, and place your bets.
Unless a couple gets married right out of college, they probably have much of the household stuff that they need, and silver tea sets are a thing of the past. No doubt both are working with not much leisure “home time”. I usually give a gift certificate to a nice restaurant whether I attend the wedding or not.
“because of COVID concern”
I would write that person off. Their paranoia outweighs my desire to send them a gift.
^5 to Dad!
my kid got married at the courthouse, and she was gifted from only 2 friends. She and my son in law are overly generous when her friends get married.... i think because they did not have a big party so folks could get drunk is why no gifts.
If you invite and have 200 people to a wedding, you also get lots of gifts. A small private ceremony, no gifts.
That is the way it has always been, covid has nothing to do with it.
“If they were stupid enough to still be playing the China Flu game eight months ago, they deserve what they got.”
This is an amazing attitude. I went to a particular indoor gathering about six months ago and I was a bit nervous, because, in actual fact, covid was severe at that time and I would have felt the same if the flu was rampant, also.
As it turned out, and not associated with that gathering, I did get covid, and immediately after it was over, I caught the flu.
Host a Reception !
So you will always remember that you had a crappy wedding over the Covid scam
You would think that the in-touch family members (members you see regularly or at holidays) and maybe very close friends would give something even if they didn’t attend. The wider acquaintance of the parents, bride and groom - no.
Maybe those who got an announcement but no invitation to anything were offended too. Did mom consider that?
my husband and I actually were FORMALLY UNINVITED to a wedding, in 2020, after an outdoor shower where we’d taken a gift !
they had heard that we MAY have been exposed to COLD-19
We were not sick, and the Crazy CDC Guideline time should have been overlong enough anyway, for The CV Believers
still don’t talk to them...
My daughter and now son-in-law were tired of waiting for things to open back up due to COVID and wanted to get married and start a family.
We had a small private ceremony with close family members only - instead of the at least 100 we had originally planned.
No gifts were forthcoming, which is what we expected - and everyone is OK with it. Daughter says she has enough “stuff” as it is.
Hope you are better now.
maybe your daughter is a bitch...
The price of hypochondria.
Lack of gifts for two medical school graduates isn’t going to keep me up at night.
Nobody sends gifts to a funeral.
It’s not a gift if you think you are owed it.
After two years of the scam if you didn’t know better, you deserve your media driven paranoia. This year’s flu, like last year’s misdiagnosed flu is no more dangerous to me, a healthy 66 year old, than was the 2018 flu strain.
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