It’s my privilege to be a father.
When my kids were young I considered the 2 most important things was to spend lots of time with them and to limit what they watched on TV.
When they got older helping them through college and professional school was my duty and privilege.
It’s a difficult world, insisting that they make it on their own means that some won’t make it and the ones that do may not be successful until their 40’s, 50’s or later. How does that help them.
It’s mine as well. Have 4 wonderful kids. 2 working, 2 still in HS. My wife has a computer science degree, she and me paid for it along the way. Proud of that. I earned my way using the GI Bill and the VA after the Army broke me.
Most of my point, or argument against paying for college for your kids really boils down to self respect. That is something that can’t be earned when someone, even your parents give it to you.
My kids, even the youngest, already know they have support from us whatever they choose. Our support is letting them stay at the house while going to college or working and being a productive citizen. They’ve got free room and board, laundry, food; all that. It isn’t insisting they make it on their own, it’s allowing them the chance to work it out themselves with a stable environment.