“The mistake the father made is to tell him about the fund in the first place.”
Good on you as it was what I was thinking. When the kid knows the money is there they may have little incentive to get a scholarship and/or take a job commitment for schooling/trade.
However, I also think the kid was not taught the proper respect after calling his dad an Ahole. Should boot the kid out the door.
You can teach what respect is but you usually can’t get it unless you earn it. I say usually though because peers tend to have more influence on kids than we do at some point and especially for some kids. Then, at some point, it comes down to spouses and their influence and that doesn’t always turn out the way you hope it will.
Sad that you have to always keep them wondering for a very long time.
When mine would not cash the check I gave him is when I told him that made it the right thing to do all the more.