Posted on 03/30/2022 12:40:20 PM PDT by CodeJockey
Still looking for the “any” key I’m supposed to press.
A favorite acronym: RTFM.
It stands for “Read The Manual.”
The “F” is silent.
Dew knot awl weighs trussed yore spell Czech err.
Praise God, from Whom electrons flow!
Praise Him, the source of all we know!
Whose order’s in the stellar host!
For in machines, He is the Ghost!
Saint Vidicon of Cathode, pray for us!
PEBKAC - Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair...
Also:
If it is not on fire it is a software problem.
Bright young men of disheveled appearance, often with sunken glowing eyes, can be seen sitting at computer consoles,
their arms tensed and waiting to fire their fingers, already poised to strike, at the buttons and keys on which their attention seems to be riveted as a gambler’s on the rolling dice.
When not so transfixed they often sit at tables strewn with computer printouts over which they pore like possessed students of a cabalistic text.
They work until they nearly drop, twenty, thirty hours at a time. Their food, if they arrange it, is brought to them: coffee, Cokes, sandwiches.
If possible they sleep on cots near the printouts. Their rumpled clothes,
their unwashed and unshaven faces, and their uncombed hair all testify that they are oblivious to their bodies and to the world in which they move.
These are computer bums, compulsive programmers...
Except that instead of sleeping on cots they rolled themselves up in bubble-wrap.
“A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn’t even know existed can render your own computer unusable.”
— Leslie Lamport
I was involved in developing a deployment tool. It was decided that we would share and give it away internally, even support it as time allowed.
The documentation was clear. If you read the EZ setup instructions it worked.
Many people failed and annoyed us, so we decided that if you did not read the instructions it should throw errorId 10t and ask you to read the EZ setup guide.
a bunch of pussy people complained to HR and we were all branded as bad people who should be much more sensitive
Not too uncommon.
Back in the day, Mrs FarCenter arrived at work in the morning to find her manager unkempt and obviously sleepless hunched over the line printer with a cigarette in each hand.
A favorite: “you’re experiencing an ID 10 T error” (id10t).
As one of the 10 who don’t know (too old),
what is the address, how can I send it ?
bookmark
Problems that go away by themselves come back by themselves.
+ + + + +
I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs.
— Maurice Wilkes
I used to print a lot of extra variables outputs during development stages. Helped to check intermediate functioning.
Then comment them out when not needed.
bfl
You left out “kids can do it”
Press Any Key To Continue.
NOT THAT KEY YOU FOOL‼️
Where's the Any Key?
LOL
“Press Any Key To Continue.”
back when I was much much younger I was a manager at a company where we had just switched from paper files to some AS400 based system with token ring networking.
we needed clerical staff or something and they had just paid a crap ton of money for some psych eval screening program for new hires so the managers could weed out people before wasting time.
Anyway this girl came in and I set her up on the terminal.
The first screen said “Hit Any Key to Continue”
about 30 minutes later I wondered why she was not done.
I went over and saw she was still on the first screen
I asked her if there was something wrong and she said she could not find the any key.
She was not cute so there was no compelling reason to have my “no hire” decision overturned.
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