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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 m.p.h. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”

“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”

“Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly ... twenty-two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Trooper, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time,” the officer asks.

“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 119.”

The Squaw of the Hippotamus
Long ago in a plains tribe, three young men came of age and were to be married. They were sent out into the world with a bow and arrow and a knife to kill an animal the fur of which was to be used to make their marriage bed
Brave Eagle returned with a wonderful cougar hide that was tanned into a beautiful fur
Charging Bull returned with the hide of a young bear that was tanned into a beautiful fur.
Falling Rocks was not very successful. He returned with the skins of two rabbits and a squirrel. These were not large enough to make a marriage bed. His wise grand mother suggested he take them to the trading post and get a striped blanket.
Alas, the trader would not part with a blanket for such a minor return but offered a dusty hippopotamus hide that though rough was in fact large enough.
A year passed
The squaw of Brave Eagle presented him with a son
The squaw of Charging Bull presented him a beautiful daughter
The squaw of Falling Rocks presented him with twins, a boy and a girl
Theorem:
The Squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the squaws of the other two hides

Did I tell you about my friend Ron Kellogg? He’s a farmer. He raises sheep. He has this one male sheep that is really mean. Ron has quite a few crows that hang around his farm. A group of ten crows is called a swoop. He has at least twenty crows on his farm.

The crows tease that male sheep. The fly down in the pasture and hassle him. He chases the crows. The crows try to lure that old male sheep to run as fast as he can, and they sucker him into running into the fence post. One day that old male sheep crushed one of the crows against the fence post and the other crows got really mad.

Ron Kellogg was out baling hay and he accidentally left the gate open to the sheep pasture. The crows saw their chance. They flew down in front of that male sheep and lured him into chasing them. They kept flying low and he chased them out of the pasture and into they hay field. The ccrows kept luring him until he ran right in front of the hay baler. He got caught up in the baler and got spit out the other side, all crushed and squeezed and wrapped up in baling wire. The crows landed on him and mocked him.

So you could say there were two swoops of ravens on a package of Kellogg’s brazen ram.