Woman Claims Her Voicemail Greeting Prevented Her From Getting a Job

Newsweek ^ | 2/3/2022 | SARA SANTORA

[Rurudyne]

I wonder if Hebonics (see Joan Rivers) helps or deters employment?

But, more seriously, that not real Ebonics … or if it is it’s very mild.

About like a Southerner using y’all.

[StolarStorm]

My last employer hired a hacker to view our private non corp email accounts and messenger apps. I caught them and reported them to law enforcement. So far, LEO is doing nada. I am so sick and tired of intrusive aholes. FB, Twitter, ect? Mind your own damn business. When not on the clock, F off.

[BiglyCommentary]

“What does “diverse” have to do with it?”

What if they didn’t have enough employees that couldn’t speak understandable English and were ditzy airhead types and felt they needed to fill that void?

[bgill]

No need to look. Can’t understand anything but “wass up” so right off the bat she’s lacking phone skills.

[oldvirginian]

I can’t either. It sounded like someone you wouldn’t let on your parking lot, nevermind hiring the creature.
One rule, if looking for a job have an answering message that is short, to the point and sounds like you have a clue.
That hood rat will only get a job from another hood rat.

[real saxophonist]

My name is David, so going back to the answering machines with cassettes, my greeting has always been some version of Cheech & Chong's 'Dave's Not Here'.

People either have no idea what it is, or laugh their butts off.

[Flaming Conservative]

My pet peeve -— the, “Hello” vm message. You start talking, and after a few seconds, you hear, “Ha ha! Fooled you! Leave a message!”

[bgill]

Did you listen to it or read what she is supposedly saying? Can’t understand anything she’s saying except “wass up”. I’d want someone who can speak clearly so my customers can understand.

[Rurudyne]

This is Ebonics … for comedic effect … from the movie Mo’ Money:

“Your Honor, Allow me to fumigate my wisdom, on the defendant. Because he has been incarcerated in the propaganda of the prison structure on the issue of the court thing, a yes. And I must say, that is has been a real didactic and pragmatic experience for the young brother as you can see from the look on his face. Can I get a witness? Ohh yess Lord! And I must say that both physically and geographically, if he be sent to the bowels of the communtiy, I say if he be sent to the bowels of the community, huh the manifestation will be much to much for him to resign... I rest my scrodum....”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6C8DyjjjAOE

How these actors keep a straight face saying these lines…..

[rbg81]

The only thing wrong with the story is that Harris Teeter should not have mentioned the voice mail message when they called her. They should have simply turned her down and left it at that.

---

Absolutely true. Once upon a time, it made sense for people to offer “helpful” suggestions — even if it was not what people want to hear. Now, if you disparage someone in any way (no matter how justified) YOU are the problem. The best policy is to deliver the message without any unnecessary comment.

[dfwgator]

That was a takeoff on Damon Wayan's "Oswald Bates" character in In Living Color.

"First of all, we must internalize the 'flatulation' of the matter by transmitting the effervescence of the 'Indianisian' proximity in order to further segregate the crux of my venereal infection. Now, if I may retain my liquids here for one moment. I'd like to continue the 'redundance' of my quote, unquote 'intestinal tract', you see because to preclude on the issue of world domination would only circumvent - excuse me, circumcise the revelation that reflects the 'Afro-disiatic' symptoms which now perpetrates the Jheri Curis activation. Allow me to expose my colon once again. The ramification inflicted on the incision placed within the Fallopian cavities serves to be holistic taken from the Latin word 'jalapeno'."

[Rurudyne]

Spouting heartfelt gibberish was a comedic thing long before even Gabby addressing the town meeting in Blazing Saddles.

[Jamestown1630]

I had a friend who did great impersonations of important political personalities.

I was in the hospital after abdominal surgery and he’d call the hospital room trying to get me to laugh.

I was in stitches :=(

[Romulus]

Yeah; that’ll get you hired.

[Jamestown1630]

LOL! That’s great.

[Responsibility2nd]

The Wayans brothers used to have routines like that some 30 years ago on “In living color.”

I was watching some clips a few weeks ago on YouTube. With a very very young Jim Carrey.

[cyclotic]

Several years ago, I came home from a job interview and told my family I was pretty sure they’d make an offer.

My daughter posted it on Facebook. I told her that I had no idea how sophisticated the company was and if they’d do a social media search.

She didn’t believe me and of course her 15 year old mentality knew more than me. I forced her to remove it.

Turns out the company wasn’t all that sophisticated but they did hire me.

[dfwgator]

There are firms that specialize in searching social media, and a lot of companies contract out to them.

[NWFree]

Chinese spyware - you people are stupid to connect to tik tok 🤪

[FormerFRLurker]

That’s brilliant!